Have you ever been in or observed an automobile accident? Many people have. Insurance companies try to get as many firsthand accounts of the accident as possible because they know that there will be as many different accounts as there are observations. This reduces their financial culpability in the matter.
While there are very specific facts that surround any event, including accidents (i.e., how fast the cars were moving, who was at fault, did they try to avoid the accident, etc.), our perceptions of what we witnessed are based on our past histories, beliefs, expectations, attitudes, and prejudices. These may be so ingrained that we don’t realize that our report of what we observed differed ever so slightly or grossly from what actually occurred. Multiply this by the number of people observing the accident and it’s easy to see why there is no consensus of reports and the truth is completely blurred. Not one person may actually report the facts accurately.
Unfortunately, our beliefs, attitudes, expectations, and prejudices also color our perceptions of the reality of our lives and obliterate the truth of who we are and what we experience. This creates a lot of shoulds and should nots. "I should do this." "This should not happen to me." "He should do that for me." "She should not treat me that way." We should all over ourselves and our lives can get pretty stinky.
At any given moment, reality is what it is and cannot be changed. We can do things now that alter our future realities, but our lives will only be filled with stress and suffering if we argue with our present reality. Or as Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, says, “The only way we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what Is is what we want.” Too many forces are in play and too many events have transpired to bring us to our present condition. These events and forces cannot be changed and so neither can our reality. We can argue with or resent the forces and events that have created a reality different than what we wanted, but the effect is still the same. We suffer.
The only way to end our suffering and eliminate stress is to stop arguing with reality. That doesn’t mean that we give up hope for a better future. It just means that we accept things as they are, focus on the task before us, and prepare for a better tomorrow. We can also begin the process of challenging our belief statements to help end our present suffering and to keep from suffering in the future when our lives do not meet our expectations. Byron Katie offers a method for doing this which she refers to as The Work. The Work consists of three main questions, a turn around, and potentially two additional questions. Is it true? Can I absolutely know it’s true? Who would I be without that thought? A turn around that restates the original belief statement. Can I see a reason to drop the thought? Can I think of a stress-free reason for keeping the thought? Let me offer you an example to see how this process works.
Mary worked for a high powered marketing firm. Her boss gave her a project to create a marketing plan for a potential new client. Unfortunately, he provided her with some misinformation. When she finished the project the company was brought in and her boss presented the completed project to the client. Their response was, “This is great, but that’s not what we told you we wanted." Her boss was furious and verbally abused her in front of her co-workers. She had put a lot of hard work into the project and had expected to receive praise and quite possibly a bonus. Hurt and distraught, she tried to explain that the mistake was not hers, but his. This only infuriated him further. He threatened her with firing and he told her she should have checked his facts out before proceeding. She suffered and cried for days. She could not get over the abuse she suffered.
A friend who had done some work with me suggested she give me a call to see if I could help her. She did. Before describing the event that brought her to my door she called her boss a so-and-so jerk. I’ve cleaned up the words a little as they could be somewhat offensive to people. After describing every painful detail she could remember and crying through the entire explanation she finished with, “He shouldn’t treat me that way.” To which I replied, “Is that true?” “What do you mean? Is that true? Of course it’s true”, she replied. I then asked, "Does he treat your co-workers differently" (Can you absolutely know it’s true)? Of course he treated them just as poorly. At least his behaviors were consistent. She then stated that he shouldn’t treat them that way either. Again I asked, “Is that true?” She just looked at me in disbelief. I continued. “You called your boss a jerk when you first arrived. Describe a jerk to me.” She did; listing every one of her boss’s behaviors. It seems to me that he was being who he is, a jerk. And you were being who you were, a victim. (Who would you be without that thought?) She didn’t like that. “Have you ever tried to get him to change his behaviors?” “Yes it hasn’t worked in the two years I’ve worked there. In fact, I left a job where I was treated the same by my ex-boss.” I explained that we can’t change the jerks of the world (and there are a lot of them) and can only be concerned with how we react when we are verbally assaulted by them so we don’t become victims of their rude and crude behaviors.
At that point I had her do so some Breaths of Life, smile, and a little Relaxation Therapy before continuing. I then asked her to turn around her original statement, “He shouldn’t treat me that way.” With a little training she came up with, “My boss is a jerk that treats people rudely. I can either be victimized by his treatment or learn how not to take it personally. I am not a victim and deserve to be treated well. I will treat me well.” “Great”, I said. I then asked the other two questions. “Can you see a reason to drop that thought?" You don’t have to if you don’t want.” “Yes, if I continue to believe that he should treat me the way I want to be treated, knowing that he won't I know that I’ll only keep suffering. “Can you think of a stress-free reason for keeping the thought? Again, you don’t have to change.” “Absolutely not!” “Can you show me how not to take it personally so I don’t suffer any more?” “Yes.”
We then set about that process. Within a few weeks of reprogramming Mary was a force to be reckoned with. The next time her boss berated her (we knew he would), she stood there smiling and nodding her head. When he finished she thanked him for his wise words, turned and walked away. He was so stunned that she didn’t completely break down and start crying that he stood there for five minutes in a daze. Eventually word got back to his supervisors that he was verbally abusing his staff. He almost lost his job and was required to attend anger management classes. While that was a pleasant but unexpected surprise, it was not the intent of our consults. We were determined to help Mary deal with the jerks of the world without taking their abuse personally or emotional breaking down, all the while standing in her own truth knowing she deserved to be treated respectfully.
If your life has become stinky because of all the should in it, you may want to explore The Work to help you overcome the belief statements that create your stress and suffering. And if you need a hand, I am always here to help. Until next time, breathe, smile, relax, and tell the truth.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Think I Can
“I can actually feel it coming on;I can predict when I’m going to self-destruct.” These were the painful words of Peter, a golfer I introduced you to in my last blog, “I’ve Fallen and Can’t get Up”,who was plagued by a Negative Programming Cycle. While he was quite talented, his play rarely lived up to his potential in the recent past because memories of previous failures haunted him every time he stepped onto the golf course.
Do you suffer from a Negative Programming Cycle? Do memories of previous mistakes and failures or unwanted life circumstances haunt your thoughts and control your feelings, behaviors, happiness, and success? Does this create feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and that painful circumstances are just being relived? That’s the way it was for Peter until I began helping him develop a Positive Programming Cycle.
Here’s what we did for Peter. Hopefully it will work for you. First, we identified all the situations where Peter began self-destructing. I had him write them all down. A pattern developed so we only had to deal with a few types of situations. One of them was when he competed against players he deemed more talented than himself. What kind of situations cause you stress? Then he wrote down all the negative thoughts that went through his headduirng his self-destruction. What do you say to yourself in stressful situations? Write these down as well. Finally, Peter wrote down all of the emotions that he experienced while self-destructing. What emotions do you experience in stressful situations? Write them down. He finished up by writing down how his behaviors changed in these situations. Do you change how you act in stressful situations? Write down these behaviors. You now have a starting point for building a Positive Programming Cycle.
Once Peter had his lists completed I had him recall a situation where he self-destructed. I had him imagine it as vividly as possible so it was almost like being there for him. Only this time, he replaced his negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, instead of thinking, “Gee, I’m terrible”, he forced himself to think, “I’m a gifted golfer.” Since this was true, even though he had to force it, he could believe it. He replaced each negative emotion (e.g., frustration and fear) with positive emotions (excitement and love for the game). He then imagined himself behaving like he did when he was playing well. Instead of dropping his head into his chest, slouching his shoulders, frowning, and walking slower, he imagined himself holding his head up high, his shoulders back, chest out, smiling and walking with a quick pace. Finally, instead of reliving mistakes, failures, and defeat I had him imagine a successful outcome.
We considered every situation where he self-destructed and replaced his Negative Programming Cycle with his new Positive Programming Cycle. I then had him repeat this procedure everyday for thirty minutes without exception. Because playing well was so important to him, he kept to this procedure even though he didn’t see improvement in his performance for several weeks. But then things started to change slowly. His Negative Programming Cycle and self-destruction began to fade. He started playing more like the old Peter; closer to his potential. Within just a few short months his self-destructive behaviors almost completely disappeared. And when they did, he used the same procedure he used during his training to reverse the Negative Programming Cycle right in the middle of a round and turn his performance completely around.
Why did this work for Peter? First, the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a real event or one that is vividly imagined. Science, through EEG monitoring has showed that the same parts of the brain become active and in the same way, whether an event is experienced or just vividly imagined in the mind. Initially, Peter could only imagine past failures and mistakes, which resulted in a loss of control over his thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and so his performance deteriorated. It became self-fulfilling prophesy. As he increased the frequency and intensity of the positive images, thoughts, behaviors, and emotions through his simulated practice his play mirrored the new images.
The second reason this works is because the brain is made up of tiny cells called neurons. These neurons have tiny branches extending from them called synapses that connect neurons one to another to from a neural net. Think of telephone poles connected by cables. The poles are the neurons and the cabling are the synapses. Each place where the neurons connect incubates into a thought or memory. The brain builds all of its concepts by the Law of Associative Memory. Thoughts, ideas, and feelings are all constructed and interconnected out of electro-chemical messages sent from one neuron to another via the synapses that connect the neurons. These electro-chemical messages are no different than the sound of your voice travelling along the wires that connect your phone to any other phone. Or, now that we have wireless capabilities, the sound waves that travel through air from one phone or computer to another.
So when Peter would get into a situation that reminded him of previous failures, the same chemical messages coursed through his brain inducing his Negative Programming Cycle and self-destruction, which, in turn further strengthened the behaviors and poor performance. However, each time we interrupted that pattern in his simulation training, the connections weakened. At the same time, a new network was being constructed for the same situation; and as he practiced, this new network or pattern got stronger. Once the old pattern weakened sufficiently and the new pattern became stronger than the old, his performance mirrored the performance he imagined in his training.
Now unfortunately, the old pattern is never completely lost. It’s just there in a weakened state. If Peter hadn’t been vigilant and hadn’t continued his simulation training it would have been very easy for the old pattern to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time.
How important is living Stress Free to you? Are you willing to risk spending thirty minutes a day developing a Positive Programming Cycle without knowing if or how long it will take before your stress fades into oblivion? This doesn’t mean that your situation will change. It means that your responses to your stressful conditions will change and you will remain in control of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors regardless of what is occurring around you. You will also be able to focus on the task at hand better, and who knows, maybe your improved problem solving and creativity will find solutions that had eluded you in the past. And maybe you will find a way out of your present circumstances.
Do you suffer from a Negative Programming Cycle? Do memories of previous mistakes and failures or unwanted life circumstances haunt your thoughts and control your feelings, behaviors, happiness, and success? Does this create feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and that painful circumstances are just being relived? That’s the way it was for Peter until I began helping him develop a Positive Programming Cycle.
Here’s what we did for Peter. Hopefully it will work for you. First, we identified all the situations where Peter began self-destructing. I had him write them all down. A pattern developed so we only had to deal with a few types of situations. One of them was when he competed against players he deemed more talented than himself. What kind of situations cause you stress? Then he wrote down all the negative thoughts that went through his headduirng his self-destruction. What do you say to yourself in stressful situations? Write these down as well. Finally, Peter wrote down all of the emotions that he experienced while self-destructing. What emotions do you experience in stressful situations? Write them down. He finished up by writing down how his behaviors changed in these situations. Do you change how you act in stressful situations? Write down these behaviors. You now have a starting point for building a Positive Programming Cycle.
Once Peter had his lists completed I had him recall a situation where he self-destructed. I had him imagine it as vividly as possible so it was almost like being there for him. Only this time, he replaced his negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, instead of thinking, “Gee, I’m terrible”, he forced himself to think, “I’m a gifted golfer.” Since this was true, even though he had to force it, he could believe it. He replaced each negative emotion (e.g., frustration and fear) with positive emotions (excitement and love for the game). He then imagined himself behaving like he did when he was playing well. Instead of dropping his head into his chest, slouching his shoulders, frowning, and walking slower, he imagined himself holding his head up high, his shoulders back, chest out, smiling and walking with a quick pace. Finally, instead of reliving mistakes, failures, and defeat I had him imagine a successful outcome.
We considered every situation where he self-destructed and replaced his Negative Programming Cycle with his new Positive Programming Cycle. I then had him repeat this procedure everyday for thirty minutes without exception. Because playing well was so important to him, he kept to this procedure even though he didn’t see improvement in his performance for several weeks. But then things started to change slowly. His Negative Programming Cycle and self-destruction began to fade. He started playing more like the old Peter; closer to his potential. Within just a few short months his self-destructive behaviors almost completely disappeared. And when they did, he used the same procedure he used during his training to reverse the Negative Programming Cycle right in the middle of a round and turn his performance completely around.
Why did this work for Peter? First, the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a real event or one that is vividly imagined. Science, through EEG monitoring has showed that the same parts of the brain become active and in the same way, whether an event is experienced or just vividly imagined in the mind. Initially, Peter could only imagine past failures and mistakes, which resulted in a loss of control over his thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and so his performance deteriorated. It became self-fulfilling prophesy. As he increased the frequency and intensity of the positive images, thoughts, behaviors, and emotions through his simulated practice his play mirrored the new images.
The second reason this works is because the brain is made up of tiny cells called neurons. These neurons have tiny branches extending from them called synapses that connect neurons one to another to from a neural net. Think of telephone poles connected by cables. The poles are the neurons and the cabling are the synapses. Each place where the neurons connect incubates into a thought or memory. The brain builds all of its concepts by the Law of Associative Memory. Thoughts, ideas, and feelings are all constructed and interconnected out of electro-chemical messages sent from one neuron to another via the synapses that connect the neurons. These electro-chemical messages are no different than the sound of your voice travelling along the wires that connect your phone to any other phone. Or, now that we have wireless capabilities, the sound waves that travel through air from one phone or computer to another.
So when Peter would get into a situation that reminded him of previous failures, the same chemical messages coursed through his brain inducing his Negative Programming Cycle and self-destruction, which, in turn further strengthened the behaviors and poor performance. However, each time we interrupted that pattern in his simulation training, the connections weakened. At the same time, a new network was being constructed for the same situation; and as he practiced, this new network or pattern got stronger. Once the old pattern weakened sufficiently and the new pattern became stronger than the old, his performance mirrored the performance he imagined in his training.
Now unfortunately, the old pattern is never completely lost. It’s just there in a weakened state. If Peter hadn’t been vigilant and hadn’t continued his simulation training it would have been very easy for the old pattern to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time.
How important is living Stress Free to you? Are you willing to risk spending thirty minutes a day developing a Positive Programming Cycle without knowing if or how long it will take before your stress fades into oblivion? This doesn’t mean that your situation will change. It means that your responses to your stressful conditions will change and you will remain in control of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors regardless of what is occurring around you. You will also be able to focus on the task at hand better, and who knows, maybe your improved problem solving and creativity will find solutions that had eluded you in the past. And maybe you will find a way out of your present circumstances.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I've Fallen and Can't Get Up
I began my work as a Peak Performance Coach and Stress Relief Consultant working with golfers as I had been a competitive golfer for most of my life and a professional golf instructor for many years before receiving my degree in Sport Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro in 1993. While the example I am about to cite is from my years in the golf world, the application to all of life is quite strong. I am sure you will see the connection.
“I can actually feel it coming on: I can predict when I’m going to self-destruct during a round. Yet, I feel completely powerless to do anything about it, and it’s driving me crazy!” lamented Peter. “I’ve been playing golf for almost 20 years. I’ve spent a small fortune on lessons and practice, and I still choke! It’s no one particular shot, but whenever the self-destruction begins, I’d rather be playing in traffic than playing golf. I must be insane to continue playing.”
I listened to the anguish in his voice as Peter detailed every instance his memory allowed him to recall where he had once choked. “Just last week I started off well. I had a great front nine; but the back nine! You’d have thought I was a different person. My game fell completely apart, and by the twelfth hole, I had absolutely no confidence. I knew I couldn’t score and I didn’t. To top it all off I lost to three other golfers whom I should I have beaten easily.
Is peter Insane? I doubt it. Like many golfers, Peter is frustrated with his performance. He never performs as well as he thinks he should, but even more frustrating is that he doesn’t know why he self-destructs. While he is fairly accomplished, Peter’s frustrations are similar to those experienced by golfers at all ability levels. From his perspective, he has always suffered from this problem. During our conversations I was able to identify the reasons for Peter’s self-destruction.
Peter is plagued by what Matt Oeschsli, a hypnotherapist and author of such books as Mind Power with Students and The Winning Game of Selling, refers to as a Negative Programming Cycle. Negative Programming Cycles affect our beliefs and our beliefs control our thoughts, actions, and emotions. Peter believed he possessed tremendous potential, but that to play at his perceived potential, he had to play near perfection. When he made a bad swing or poor putt Peter worried about future bad swings and putts, fiddled with his grip and tinkered with his mechanics, doubted his ability, began thinking negatively about his chances for success and self-destructed. “I knew I couldn’t score well and I didn’t.”
According to Dr. Shad Helmsetter, author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, 75% of early programming in our Western culture is typically negative. That is, we tend to be more critical and punish mistakes than we reward good behavior and success. We expect people to make the right choices and behaviors. We criticize and punish them when they make mistakes or make the wrong choices. The greater the discrepancy between negative and positive reinforcement, the stronger is our Negative Programming cycle. Is it any wonder that we develop the habit of negative self-talk, that we are critical and even punish ourselves for the simplest mistakes, and doubt our ability to improve our performance or live a better life?
You’ve heard the expression, self-fulfilling prophecy. Your outward thoughts, words expressions, and behaviors are a reflection of your most deeply held beliefs. If you have s strong Negative Programming Cycle you probably respond to adversity like Peter. In fact, the stronger your Negative Programming Cycle, the less likely you dare to dream and the sooner you give up on yourself in the face of adversity.
The Negative Programming Cycle starts a chain reaction of thoughts and responses every time we make a mistakes or life doesn’t go the way we want. It makes us believe that mistakes are wrong or we don’t deserve a better life. We then act in ways that are consistent with those negative beliefs. The Negative Programming Cycle is so insidious that we may not even be aware that we have these thoughts or responses. Peter didn’t and it affected his play. Unless we do something to counter the effects of our Negative Programming Cycle we will continue to falter.
First, we need to realize that there is nothing wrong with making mistakes and that there is always and ebb and flow to life. Mistakes are a natural part of life and so is some adversity. Today’s mistakes and/or adversity are not an indication of tomorrow’s failures; however, because we are bombarded with negative reinforcement, we carry this belief around with us. The Negative Programming Cycle causes us to think too much and worry about our chances for a future successful or happy life, creating negative thinking and inducing self-limiting behaviors.
If we have been subjected to a lifetime of negative reinforcement we possess an internal negative concept. A negative internal self-concept cause us to think too much in achievement situations, and because of previous failures and mistakes, cause negative thinking, projecting failure and adversity into the future. We begin to worry about the outcome, the consequences of failure, and what others will think about us if we fail. These worries and the negative self-concept interfere with our performance and create self-limiting behaviors that undermine our performance or life. The resulting outcome will be undesirable, just as we thought it would be; further strengthening the inner belief that we are not good or worthy.
Any time we make mistakes, fail in an important activity, or life is just not what we had intended, our mind goes back into history, recalling previous similar situations and our conscious mind then begins to consider all the negatives a la’ Murphy’s Law: If something can go wrong it will. Because performance or experiencing life in very specific ways is so important we give into negative thoughts and worry distracts us from the task at hand, ensuring our defeat. While we want to believe that we are more capable than are present performance indicates or deserve a better life than we are experiencing at the moment, we have no evidence to support that hope.
If we normally respond emotionally to mistakes or adversity we may get angry, frustrated, experience despair or despondency. Finally we give up. Because of the Negative Programming Cycle, we believe there is nothing we can do that will change the situation, now or in the future. We make mistakes or life continues to beat us down. We further fuel the flames of defeat by beating ourselves up emotionally, calling ourselves or the present situation every name in the book, most of which cannot be printed here. And our subconscious says, “See I knew you would fail!”
Fortunately, we can choose to end this downward cycle of negativity and defeat by learning the attributes of a Positive Programming Cycle. It starts with the recognition of our negative thoughts and emotions and self-defeating behaviors. Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you suffer from a Negative Programming Cycle.
What do I say to myself in adversity, when I make mistakes, or life doesn’t go my way?
Do I worry about the future?
Do I worry about what others will think about me, or worse yet, what I think of myself?
Do I think I’ll never get it or that life is destined to remain adverse?
Do I feel helpless or hopeless?
Do I have difficulty controlling thoughts?
Are most of my thoughts negative?
Do I remember similar negative situations?
Do I stop focusing on the task at hand (living in the present)?
Do I get stressed?
Do I have difficulty controlling my emotions?
Do my emotions turn to frustration, anger, rage, despair, despondency, or sadness?
If you look at your answers to these questions you can determine very quickly if you are affected by a Negative Programming Cycle. It doesn’t matter what forces are responsible for its development. You have to eliminate its influences if you ever hope to live the life you have always wanted and perform up to your expectation in all areas of your life. Next time we will continue on the journey to a Positive Programming Cycle and more abundant life. Until then, keep breathing, relax, and remember “Attitude is Everything.”
“I can actually feel it coming on: I can predict when I’m going to self-destruct during a round. Yet, I feel completely powerless to do anything about it, and it’s driving me crazy!” lamented Peter. “I’ve been playing golf for almost 20 years. I’ve spent a small fortune on lessons and practice, and I still choke! It’s no one particular shot, but whenever the self-destruction begins, I’d rather be playing in traffic than playing golf. I must be insane to continue playing.”
I listened to the anguish in his voice as Peter detailed every instance his memory allowed him to recall where he had once choked. “Just last week I started off well. I had a great front nine; but the back nine! You’d have thought I was a different person. My game fell completely apart, and by the twelfth hole, I had absolutely no confidence. I knew I couldn’t score and I didn’t. To top it all off I lost to three other golfers whom I should I have beaten easily.
Is peter Insane? I doubt it. Like many golfers, Peter is frustrated with his performance. He never performs as well as he thinks he should, but even more frustrating is that he doesn’t know why he self-destructs. While he is fairly accomplished, Peter’s frustrations are similar to those experienced by golfers at all ability levels. From his perspective, he has always suffered from this problem. During our conversations I was able to identify the reasons for Peter’s self-destruction.
Peter is plagued by what Matt Oeschsli, a hypnotherapist and author of such books as Mind Power with Students and The Winning Game of Selling, refers to as a Negative Programming Cycle. Negative Programming Cycles affect our beliefs and our beliefs control our thoughts, actions, and emotions. Peter believed he possessed tremendous potential, but that to play at his perceived potential, he had to play near perfection. When he made a bad swing or poor putt Peter worried about future bad swings and putts, fiddled with his grip and tinkered with his mechanics, doubted his ability, began thinking negatively about his chances for success and self-destructed. “I knew I couldn’t score well and I didn’t.”
According to Dr. Shad Helmsetter, author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, 75% of early programming in our Western culture is typically negative. That is, we tend to be more critical and punish mistakes than we reward good behavior and success. We expect people to make the right choices and behaviors. We criticize and punish them when they make mistakes or make the wrong choices. The greater the discrepancy between negative and positive reinforcement, the stronger is our Negative Programming cycle. Is it any wonder that we develop the habit of negative self-talk, that we are critical and even punish ourselves for the simplest mistakes, and doubt our ability to improve our performance or live a better life?
You’ve heard the expression, self-fulfilling prophecy. Your outward thoughts, words expressions, and behaviors are a reflection of your most deeply held beliefs. If you have s strong Negative Programming Cycle you probably respond to adversity like Peter. In fact, the stronger your Negative Programming Cycle, the less likely you dare to dream and the sooner you give up on yourself in the face of adversity.
The Negative Programming Cycle starts a chain reaction of thoughts and responses every time we make a mistakes or life doesn’t go the way we want. It makes us believe that mistakes are wrong or we don’t deserve a better life. We then act in ways that are consistent with those negative beliefs. The Negative Programming Cycle is so insidious that we may not even be aware that we have these thoughts or responses. Peter didn’t and it affected his play. Unless we do something to counter the effects of our Negative Programming Cycle we will continue to falter.
First, we need to realize that there is nothing wrong with making mistakes and that there is always and ebb and flow to life. Mistakes are a natural part of life and so is some adversity. Today’s mistakes and/or adversity are not an indication of tomorrow’s failures; however, because we are bombarded with negative reinforcement, we carry this belief around with us. The Negative Programming Cycle causes us to think too much and worry about our chances for a future successful or happy life, creating negative thinking and inducing self-limiting behaviors.
If we have been subjected to a lifetime of negative reinforcement we possess an internal negative concept. A negative internal self-concept cause us to think too much in achievement situations, and because of previous failures and mistakes, cause negative thinking, projecting failure and adversity into the future. We begin to worry about the outcome, the consequences of failure, and what others will think about us if we fail. These worries and the negative self-concept interfere with our performance and create self-limiting behaviors that undermine our performance or life. The resulting outcome will be undesirable, just as we thought it would be; further strengthening the inner belief that we are not good or worthy.
Any time we make mistakes, fail in an important activity, or life is just not what we had intended, our mind goes back into history, recalling previous similar situations and our conscious mind then begins to consider all the negatives a la’ Murphy’s Law: If something can go wrong it will. Because performance or experiencing life in very specific ways is so important we give into negative thoughts and worry distracts us from the task at hand, ensuring our defeat. While we want to believe that we are more capable than are present performance indicates or deserve a better life than we are experiencing at the moment, we have no evidence to support that hope.
If we normally respond emotionally to mistakes or adversity we may get angry, frustrated, experience despair or despondency. Finally we give up. Because of the Negative Programming Cycle, we believe there is nothing we can do that will change the situation, now or in the future. We make mistakes or life continues to beat us down. We further fuel the flames of defeat by beating ourselves up emotionally, calling ourselves or the present situation every name in the book, most of which cannot be printed here. And our subconscious says, “See I knew you would fail!”
Fortunately, we can choose to end this downward cycle of negativity and defeat by learning the attributes of a Positive Programming Cycle. It starts with the recognition of our negative thoughts and emotions and self-defeating behaviors. Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you suffer from a Negative Programming Cycle.
What do I say to myself in adversity, when I make mistakes, or life doesn’t go my way?
Do I worry about the future?
Do I worry about what others will think about me, or worse yet, what I think of myself?
Do I think I’ll never get it or that life is destined to remain adverse?
Do I feel helpless or hopeless?
Do I have difficulty controlling thoughts?
Are most of my thoughts negative?
Do I remember similar negative situations?
Do I stop focusing on the task at hand (living in the present)?
Do I get stressed?
Do I have difficulty controlling my emotions?
Do my emotions turn to frustration, anger, rage, despair, despondency, or sadness?
If you look at your answers to these questions you can determine very quickly if you are affected by a Negative Programming Cycle. It doesn’t matter what forces are responsible for its development. You have to eliminate its influences if you ever hope to live the life you have always wanted and perform up to your expectation in all areas of your life. Next time we will continue on the journey to a Positive Programming Cycle and more abundant life. Until then, keep breathing, relax, and remember “Attitude is Everything.”
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Do you know the way to...?
Many view the ego and the Self as opposite ends of our spiritual journey. The journey begins with the ego trying to learn who it is and why it is here. Through the mind, the ego separates and attempts to distinguish itself physically from other egos. “I am tall, short, thin, athletic, pleasingly plump, etc.” “I have blond hair.” The ego may also associate with ideals. “I am a good person, generous, helpful, etc.” At times the ego also identifies with social functions or groups within its social experience. “I am American, British, Catholic, Hebrew, Muslim, a fan of the Green Bay Packers.”
Why does the ego distinguish itself in so many ways? The only answer can be self-preservation. With so many ways to identify itself, the ego can never be lost in the morass of egos that inhabit this planet. If one identity ceases to exist, the ego can cling to another one of its identities or develop one to replace the one that was lost and remain alive, at least we assume, until the body itself dies.
Even its associations with social groups gives the ego life. When egos associate with groups, a collective consciousness or collective ego emerges that is different from other collective egos (i.e. democrat, republican) whose sole purpose also become one of survival and in many cases at the expense of the individual egos that comprise the collective ego.
Both individual egos and collective egos will do whatever is necessary to survive because they separate from others out of fear - the fear of its own death. The fear of death (and all other fears such as the fear of lack) and the struggle to survive leads to a loss of freedom, limited life choices, suffering, contention, strife, war, and every sort of human degradation. And this goes on ad infinitum or until there the world comes crushing down on the ego or that defining moment when the Self makes itself known. Usually it’s the former when we come to realize that all the faith we have put into our physical reality dies because all of our expectations of what should be is no longer is true. People make promises to us that because we and they change no longer hold true and the promises are broken. Or we believe in the American Dream, for example, and the economy dies as the result of the greed of those in power and we suffer financially.
When the ego becomes tired of the struggle to survive, to excel, or to set itself apart it becomes disenchanted with a life that promises the world in exchange for compliance, allegiance, and compromise but only delivers uncertainty, unwanted change, and lack of empathy, the Self can be heard whispering to try and get our attention. Sometimes it yells quite loudly and shocks us out of our self-imposed hells.
As fatigue sets in and the ego resigns itself to a life that is far less than what it believed it was promised, the mind surrenders its incessant struggle to determine the cause of its suffering so it can alter its future history. In these few moments of quiet solitude, a tiny voice can be heard, “There is more to life.” If we listen, the message continues. “Come inside and I will help you end your suffering so that you are completely free to explore who you really are. You are an infinite being of inner peace, happiness, joy, unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness and deserve all the abundance that Life has to offer, including life eternal.”
This whispered (or sometimes yelling) voice is the Self calling to the ego to remind it that because its Creator is Divine, it too is Divine and the source of all life itself. Because the ego has been conditioned to accept as truth only that which it can experience through the body’s five senses, it lacks the creativity and imagination necessary to envision life beyond the five senses. However, the Self is relentless, exposing the ego to synchronicities (unexplained coincidences) and experiences that defy logic or events which cannot be explained or identified through the five senses. It sends more evolved egos that are closer in touch with the Self to increase inquisitiveness for the ego to look to for answers beyond the external experience. The Self sends the ego inside.
Inner exploration of the ego to discover the Self can be quite frightening. The ego has been so conditioned by social institutions with which it associates to judge unacceptable certain personality characteristics or behaviors and physical features. The ego also has been conditioned by these same institutions (collective egos) that no one is perfect. If in exploring this internal world, the ego confronts or exposes its human imperfections and if acknowledging these imperfections is overly painful, the ego may resist all attempts to discover the Self. The ego is destined to suffer at its own hands. It cannot achieve full Consciousness in this life and possibly even after the demise of the physical body.
One cannot assume that the death of the body results in the death of the ego and the blossoming of the Self. If the ego has been so conditioned to assume it is unworthy and does survive the body’s demise it may continue to override the urgings of the Self to explore the beauty of eternal happiness, joy, and love and continue to exist in a hell of its own making. I believe that the only way to achieve Full Consciousness in this life or any other is to go deep within to explore all that we are, to accept, embrace, and love unconditionally all of our human failures and imperfections. When we do we discover the Self; our connection to eternal Divine life. We enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
As we begin to end our judgments of ourselves we begin to look out into the world with new eyes and see perfection in every human event, even those that we previously deemed most despicable. We recognize the Divine Plan from our Ascension into Full Consciousness and unconditional love and accept that joy and pain, happiness and sorrow, love and hate, war and peace push us along this path to our ultimate destination. For example, Hitler exterminated millions of Jews, Catholics, and all he deemed would contaminate the super race he planned for the earth. The world united to squelch his attempts at world domination and said, “Never again will we accept such reprehensible behavior.” Since then many have tried to reignite this search for a superior race and extermination of those deemed unworthy. Each time, humanity remembered and with a united voice said, “No!”
While it has taken wars and killing to stop this onslaught on humanity, there exists the possibility that we will find peaceful means to end this struggle because humanity, as a whole, is getting tired of hate, violence and war. If not, maybe the only way to end war is to end all human life. Even this would be acceptable within Divine Law as we are much more than just our bodies. After all we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Who knows, maybe the realization will occur one day that the human experiment is no longer necessary. The human experience is only an infinitesimal part of the Divine experience and even if all human life ends, Divine Life continues into and throughout eternity.
Even for those pursuing a spiritual path the journey may not be smooth, easy, or pain free. The recognition of our acceptance of the Self and all it implies is in direct conflict with the condition, experience, and past history of the human ego. The only way to experience unlimited joy, happiness, love, and freedom is to choose them, regardless of what we experience on a human level. There are no laws that state that we must suffer if we are poor, ugly, homeless, unsuccessful, or uneducated.
When you suffer because your efforts have not resulted in desired outcomes, it’s your ego reminding you that you put your faith in a reality that can only offer uncertainty, change, inconsistency and compromise. You must be willing to give up your faith, hope, and expectation that specific behaviors produce specific human experiences. At the moment you become aware of your suffering, close your eyes, take a deep, long, slow breath, and smile. Remind yourself that this too shall pass; that you are much more than your physical experiences and destined for a future far greater than your feeble mind can imagine.
You must be ruthless in the use of this simple tool until the current episode of suffering ends and with each and every episode thereafter. If you remain committed to your Self, the continued use of this tool, which I refer to as the Attitude Adjustment Routine, will end your suffering quicker and quicker. As the suffering ends you will have reconnected with your Self.
There will be times when your efforts result in desired outcomes and may reconfirm your faith in the human experience. At these times too, use the Attitude Adjustment Routine, express your gratitude for the experience, and remind yourself, “this too shall pass” so you don’t fall victim to your addictions to the world’s lure of promise and hope. Secretly you may not want to admit this. You may not want the experience to end. Unfortunately, the next time the world does not cooperate your suffering may increase and you will once again find yourself on that downward spiral towards pain, confusion, mental agitation, and resistance. You may even give up and resign yourself once again to a life of restriction and limitation. Trust me. I know from many, many such experiences.
I have wanted to give up so many times, but the Self is too strong and resilient. It continues to call even if I turn off the sound or take the phone off the hook. Somehow its message gets through and I start all over again. You can too. All it takes is the intention to connect with the Self, an awareness of the ego’s function in human experience, and commitment to the use of a simple tool that transcends the human experience. Are you ready for that plunge inwards?
Why does the ego distinguish itself in so many ways? The only answer can be self-preservation. With so many ways to identify itself, the ego can never be lost in the morass of egos that inhabit this planet. If one identity ceases to exist, the ego can cling to another one of its identities or develop one to replace the one that was lost and remain alive, at least we assume, until the body itself dies.
Even its associations with social groups gives the ego life. When egos associate with groups, a collective consciousness or collective ego emerges that is different from other collective egos (i.e. democrat, republican) whose sole purpose also become one of survival and in many cases at the expense of the individual egos that comprise the collective ego.
Both individual egos and collective egos will do whatever is necessary to survive because they separate from others out of fear - the fear of its own death. The fear of death (and all other fears such as the fear of lack) and the struggle to survive leads to a loss of freedom, limited life choices, suffering, contention, strife, war, and every sort of human degradation. And this goes on ad infinitum or until there the world comes crushing down on the ego or that defining moment when the Self makes itself known. Usually it’s the former when we come to realize that all the faith we have put into our physical reality dies because all of our expectations of what should be is no longer is true. People make promises to us that because we and they change no longer hold true and the promises are broken. Or we believe in the American Dream, for example, and the economy dies as the result of the greed of those in power and we suffer financially.
When the ego becomes tired of the struggle to survive, to excel, or to set itself apart it becomes disenchanted with a life that promises the world in exchange for compliance, allegiance, and compromise but only delivers uncertainty, unwanted change, and lack of empathy, the Self can be heard whispering to try and get our attention. Sometimes it yells quite loudly and shocks us out of our self-imposed hells.
As fatigue sets in and the ego resigns itself to a life that is far less than what it believed it was promised, the mind surrenders its incessant struggle to determine the cause of its suffering so it can alter its future history. In these few moments of quiet solitude, a tiny voice can be heard, “There is more to life.” If we listen, the message continues. “Come inside and I will help you end your suffering so that you are completely free to explore who you really are. You are an infinite being of inner peace, happiness, joy, unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness and deserve all the abundance that Life has to offer, including life eternal.”
This whispered (or sometimes yelling) voice is the Self calling to the ego to remind it that because its Creator is Divine, it too is Divine and the source of all life itself. Because the ego has been conditioned to accept as truth only that which it can experience through the body’s five senses, it lacks the creativity and imagination necessary to envision life beyond the five senses. However, the Self is relentless, exposing the ego to synchronicities (unexplained coincidences) and experiences that defy logic or events which cannot be explained or identified through the five senses. It sends more evolved egos that are closer in touch with the Self to increase inquisitiveness for the ego to look to for answers beyond the external experience. The Self sends the ego inside.
Inner exploration of the ego to discover the Self can be quite frightening. The ego has been so conditioned by social institutions with which it associates to judge unacceptable certain personality characteristics or behaviors and physical features. The ego also has been conditioned by these same institutions (collective egos) that no one is perfect. If in exploring this internal world, the ego confronts or exposes its human imperfections and if acknowledging these imperfections is overly painful, the ego may resist all attempts to discover the Self. The ego is destined to suffer at its own hands. It cannot achieve full Consciousness in this life and possibly even after the demise of the physical body.
One cannot assume that the death of the body results in the death of the ego and the blossoming of the Self. If the ego has been so conditioned to assume it is unworthy and does survive the body’s demise it may continue to override the urgings of the Self to explore the beauty of eternal happiness, joy, and love and continue to exist in a hell of its own making. I believe that the only way to achieve Full Consciousness in this life or any other is to go deep within to explore all that we are, to accept, embrace, and love unconditionally all of our human failures and imperfections. When we do we discover the Self; our connection to eternal Divine life. We enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
As we begin to end our judgments of ourselves we begin to look out into the world with new eyes and see perfection in every human event, even those that we previously deemed most despicable. We recognize the Divine Plan from our Ascension into Full Consciousness and unconditional love and accept that joy and pain, happiness and sorrow, love and hate, war and peace push us along this path to our ultimate destination. For example, Hitler exterminated millions of Jews, Catholics, and all he deemed would contaminate the super race he planned for the earth. The world united to squelch his attempts at world domination and said, “Never again will we accept such reprehensible behavior.” Since then many have tried to reignite this search for a superior race and extermination of those deemed unworthy. Each time, humanity remembered and with a united voice said, “No!”
While it has taken wars and killing to stop this onslaught on humanity, there exists the possibility that we will find peaceful means to end this struggle because humanity, as a whole, is getting tired of hate, violence and war. If not, maybe the only way to end war is to end all human life. Even this would be acceptable within Divine Law as we are much more than just our bodies. After all we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Who knows, maybe the realization will occur one day that the human experiment is no longer necessary. The human experience is only an infinitesimal part of the Divine experience and even if all human life ends, Divine Life continues into and throughout eternity.
Even for those pursuing a spiritual path the journey may not be smooth, easy, or pain free. The recognition of our acceptance of the Self and all it implies is in direct conflict with the condition, experience, and past history of the human ego. The only way to experience unlimited joy, happiness, love, and freedom is to choose them, regardless of what we experience on a human level. There are no laws that state that we must suffer if we are poor, ugly, homeless, unsuccessful, or uneducated.
When you suffer because your efforts have not resulted in desired outcomes, it’s your ego reminding you that you put your faith in a reality that can only offer uncertainty, change, inconsistency and compromise. You must be willing to give up your faith, hope, and expectation that specific behaviors produce specific human experiences. At the moment you become aware of your suffering, close your eyes, take a deep, long, slow breath, and smile. Remind yourself that this too shall pass; that you are much more than your physical experiences and destined for a future far greater than your feeble mind can imagine.
You must be ruthless in the use of this simple tool until the current episode of suffering ends and with each and every episode thereafter. If you remain committed to your Self, the continued use of this tool, which I refer to as the Attitude Adjustment Routine, will end your suffering quicker and quicker. As the suffering ends you will have reconnected with your Self.
There will be times when your efforts result in desired outcomes and may reconfirm your faith in the human experience. At these times too, use the Attitude Adjustment Routine, express your gratitude for the experience, and remind yourself, “this too shall pass” so you don’t fall victim to your addictions to the world’s lure of promise and hope. Secretly you may not want to admit this. You may not want the experience to end. Unfortunately, the next time the world does not cooperate your suffering may increase and you will once again find yourself on that downward spiral towards pain, confusion, mental agitation, and resistance. You may even give up and resign yourself once again to a life of restriction and limitation. Trust me. I know from many, many such experiences.
I have wanted to give up so many times, but the Self is too strong and resilient. It continues to call even if I turn off the sound or take the phone off the hook. Somehow its message gets through and I start all over again. You can too. All it takes is the intention to connect with the Self, an awareness of the ego’s function in human experience, and commitment to the use of a simple tool that transcends the human experience. Are you ready for that plunge inwards?
Monday, June 28, 2010
Pssst. I've got a Secret
What do you most want out of life at this time: success, abundance, happiness, inner peace, freedom, or the things that bring about these experiences? Well, they are yours! So say The Secret, Abraham, and similar programs all designed to tap into the Law of Attraction. You can manifest anything you want by using the oldest and most powerful law of the Universe. Science even proves that this Law does exist and can work for everyone who understands how to use it.
While many people have eliminated the restrictions in their life that created barriers to these experiences, countless numbers of individuals have tried to use the tenets suggested by these programs to bring about change in their life without success. While I cannot categorically state the specific reason why an individual failed to manifest their heart’s desire I can provide you with some guidelines that may make your use of the Law of Attraction more effective.
Let’s begin by looking at the Science behind the Law. The Law of Attraction would be considered part of the Noetic Sciences of which Quantum Physics is a part. It is where Science and technology meet Spirituality. According to the Friends of Noetic Science, “The word ‘noetic’ is derived from the Greek word ‘nous,’ meaning mind, intelligence or ways of knowing. There is no exact equivalent in English. It refers to ‘inner knowing,’ a kind of intuitive consciousnessódirect and immediate access to knowledge beyond what is available to our normal senses or the power of reason.”
“Noetic sciences are explorations into the nature and potentials of consciousness using multiple ways of knowing -- including intuition, feeling, reason, and the senses. Noetic sciences explore the ‘inner cosmos’ of the mind/consciousness/soul/spirit, and how it relates to the ‘outer cosmos’ of the physical world.” Noetics is controversial, but research grounded in scientific approach has brought the subject into a more serious light in recent years. Many members of academia in the fields of medicine, biology, psychology, philosophy, and physics believe in and study the effect of thoughts on the physical world, from health effects to throwing dice.
According to their theories our thoughts work both like particles (mass) and waves (energy). Now, it is known that all mass, no matter how miniscule exerts a gravitational pull on its environment. The greater the mass the greater the gravitational effect. So, if you’ve tried in vain to manifest some change in your life it could be that the mass of those thoughts is comparatively small to the thoughts that produce the opposite effect. In other words, maybe you are manifesting your suffering because your thoughts of suffering outweigh your thoughts of happiness and it is more suffering that is being pulled towards you.
Our thoughts also emit a type of energy like radio waves. Radio waves are transmitted at specific frequencies and only those receiving devices tuned to that frequency receive the transmission. Now, the stronger the frequency the clearer the transmission and the father its reach. It could be that your attempts to manifest change are not sufficiently strong or clear enough to reach those who could make a difference in your life. Or again, your suffering is so strong that it is being picked up by those who can help you continue your suffering. So what do you do to improve your chances for change?
I started out as a Sport Psychologist and assisted athletes achieve their performance dreams. I used the simple formula, “Performance equals potential minus interference.” We first began by eliminating all source of interference and then increased their potential by developing new skills. When they’ve eliminated all fear and developed the appropriate skills they created the conditions necessary to perform in The Zone. The Zone is an altered stated of consciousness in which one experiences mental and physical relaxation. We live in the present, foregoing all thoughts of past and future events and exude positive energy. It’s as if we are on automatic pilot with all of our thoughts, decisions, and actions occurring without a sense of exerting or imposing control. We are also free of stress, tension, and anxiety and are detached from the environment and time so that potential distractions do not interfere with our efforts, regardless how important or stressful the situation. The Zone is also known as the “Quiet Mind”, “High-Performance Mind” or “Awakened Mind” state. I believe that same formula and approach are necessary for all areas of life.
The biggest source of interference is stress caused by fear or threat. By reducing your level of stress and anxiety you reduce the mass of thoughts that compete with manifesting your heart’s desire. You also decrease the frequency and strength of the energy produced by these competing thoughts. If you’ve been reading my blog you already have tools that eliminate the destructive effects of stress. They are the Breath of Life, The Attitude Adjustment Routine, and Relaxation Therapy. In the moments that you reduce your stress through these or other tools you create a clear space in which to raise your thoughts of manifestation. The more often you achieve this state the more positive results your manifestations will produce.
One of the side effects of stress is the shutting down of the parts of the brain that are unnecessary for survival. While I don’t have sufficient space to explain how this occurs, just remember when we experience fear or stress an unconscious, primitive reflex is triggered to help us survive a life-threatening event. The unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a threat to our life or to our way of life so shuts down all those areas of the brain that are not necessary for survival. This is why we have difficulty controlling our thoughts and emotions, and find it hard to produce viable options to solve the issue when we’re stressed out. It also disconnects us from our heart center because we either act from fear or from love. So while in fear we lose the ability to access our heart’s desire.
I provide my clients with simple mechanical tools that they can use to switch on those parts of the brain that have been turned off by their stress response, reconnect them to their heart, and open up the passageways to unconscious and sub-conscious memories necessary for problem solving and creativity. These include 26 techniques based on Applied Kinesiology, one of which is referred to as “Lazy 8’s. This tool is intended to switch on and create coherence between the right and left hemispheres of the brain and right and left visual focal centers. All together these tools and techniques expand consciousness and create a connection to higher levels of awareness that improve our chances for success in all kinds of activities. I will talk more about these behaviors in future blogs.
Once we’ve eliminated competing thoughts and expanded consciousness and awareness we are in a far better position to begin the process of manifesting. You’ve already heard that a picture is worth a thousand words so creating images in our mind are far better for manifesting than mere words. In previous blogs I’ve shared how to develop your imagery/visualization abilities. Just remember, to create the most powerful images, use all of your senses, visual, auditory, touch, taste, and olfactory. Also include how you would feel when you achieved or acquired your heart’s desire as this increases the energy of the image being transmitted. Finally, imagine your heart’s desire as if you’ve already achieved it. The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between something that is real or vividly imagined. If you vividly imagine it as if it’s already been achieved, the transmissions sent out by your brain will connect you with the appropriate people and experiences to make it happen. Your mind will be tuned in to positive experiences and behaviors, not your suffering, feelings of being victimized or neediness.
I then tell athletes who are trying to achieve their performance dreams that practice is required. In order to experience new ways of being one must practice new ways of being until they become second nature. Remember, performance occurs naturally when in The Zone or the Awakened Mind State, but this only happens with practice. The more you practice the better you get at it and the more effective and efficient your efforts. Science suggests it takes thirty consecutive days of consistent practice to create a new behavior and another thirty consecutive days of practice to dislodge old behaviors to effect change in our life. I don’t know how long it will take to begin manifesting your heart’s desire, but I do know it will never occur if you are not committed to engaging in those behaviors that bring it out. Wishing, pleading, or begging does not work.
Finally, you must do all of this without expectation of them working. The more you think about whether or not your efforts are working the further from The Zone or the Awakened Mind State you get. You will never know when you’re in this state because when in this state you lose awareness of yourself. Athletes become so involved with the task at hand that they are not focused on themselves. If they ask, “Am I in The Zone?” They’re not. They're focus is on themselves and not on the task at hand. If they start playing well and comment, “I must be in The Zone.” They’ve just lost it.
When they stop focusing on themselves they become part of the action. It’s akin to sleeping. When you sleep you are not aware that you exist. When you’re playing in The Zone you are focused only on the task at hand. When in an Awakened Mind State you are focused only on your heart’s desire. You must stop worrying about when you will achieve your heart’s desire or fear that your life will never change and just create the conditions that allow them to come into your life.
So what is your heart’s desire? Do you want to do better in school, in sports, at work, or at home? Do you want a relationship, more money, happiness, or success? You can have it all! Eliminate your fear and stress, expand your consciousness, create a vivid image of your heart’s desire, believe you already exist in that new world, and do it over and over without expectation until it suddenly appears, as if by magic. Pssst. Please pass on this secret.
While many people have eliminated the restrictions in their life that created barriers to these experiences, countless numbers of individuals have tried to use the tenets suggested by these programs to bring about change in their life without success. While I cannot categorically state the specific reason why an individual failed to manifest their heart’s desire I can provide you with some guidelines that may make your use of the Law of Attraction more effective.
Let’s begin by looking at the Science behind the Law. The Law of Attraction would be considered part of the Noetic Sciences of which Quantum Physics is a part. It is where Science and technology meet Spirituality. According to the Friends of Noetic Science, “The word ‘noetic’ is derived from the Greek word ‘nous,’ meaning mind, intelligence or ways of knowing. There is no exact equivalent in English. It refers to ‘inner knowing,’ a kind of intuitive consciousnessódirect and immediate access to knowledge beyond what is available to our normal senses or the power of reason.”
“Noetic sciences are explorations into the nature and potentials of consciousness using multiple ways of knowing -- including intuition, feeling, reason, and the senses. Noetic sciences explore the ‘inner cosmos’ of the mind/consciousness/soul/spirit, and how it relates to the ‘outer cosmos’ of the physical world.” Noetics is controversial, but research grounded in scientific approach has brought the subject into a more serious light in recent years. Many members of academia in the fields of medicine, biology, psychology, philosophy, and physics believe in and study the effect of thoughts on the physical world, from health effects to throwing dice.
According to their theories our thoughts work both like particles (mass) and waves (energy). Now, it is known that all mass, no matter how miniscule exerts a gravitational pull on its environment. The greater the mass the greater the gravitational effect. So, if you’ve tried in vain to manifest some change in your life it could be that the mass of those thoughts is comparatively small to the thoughts that produce the opposite effect. In other words, maybe you are manifesting your suffering because your thoughts of suffering outweigh your thoughts of happiness and it is more suffering that is being pulled towards you.
Our thoughts also emit a type of energy like radio waves. Radio waves are transmitted at specific frequencies and only those receiving devices tuned to that frequency receive the transmission. Now, the stronger the frequency the clearer the transmission and the father its reach. It could be that your attempts to manifest change are not sufficiently strong or clear enough to reach those who could make a difference in your life. Or again, your suffering is so strong that it is being picked up by those who can help you continue your suffering. So what do you do to improve your chances for change?
I started out as a Sport Psychologist and assisted athletes achieve their performance dreams. I used the simple formula, “Performance equals potential minus interference.” We first began by eliminating all source of interference and then increased their potential by developing new skills. When they’ve eliminated all fear and developed the appropriate skills they created the conditions necessary to perform in The Zone. The Zone is an altered stated of consciousness in which one experiences mental and physical relaxation. We live in the present, foregoing all thoughts of past and future events and exude positive energy. It’s as if we are on automatic pilot with all of our thoughts, decisions, and actions occurring without a sense of exerting or imposing control. We are also free of stress, tension, and anxiety and are detached from the environment and time so that potential distractions do not interfere with our efforts, regardless how important or stressful the situation. The Zone is also known as the “Quiet Mind”, “High-Performance Mind” or “Awakened Mind” state. I believe that same formula and approach are necessary for all areas of life.
The biggest source of interference is stress caused by fear or threat. By reducing your level of stress and anxiety you reduce the mass of thoughts that compete with manifesting your heart’s desire. You also decrease the frequency and strength of the energy produced by these competing thoughts. If you’ve been reading my blog you already have tools that eliminate the destructive effects of stress. They are the Breath of Life, The Attitude Adjustment Routine, and Relaxation Therapy. In the moments that you reduce your stress through these or other tools you create a clear space in which to raise your thoughts of manifestation. The more often you achieve this state the more positive results your manifestations will produce.
One of the side effects of stress is the shutting down of the parts of the brain that are unnecessary for survival. While I don’t have sufficient space to explain how this occurs, just remember when we experience fear or stress an unconscious, primitive reflex is triggered to help us survive a life-threatening event. The unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a threat to our life or to our way of life so shuts down all those areas of the brain that are not necessary for survival. This is why we have difficulty controlling our thoughts and emotions, and find it hard to produce viable options to solve the issue when we’re stressed out. It also disconnects us from our heart center because we either act from fear or from love. So while in fear we lose the ability to access our heart’s desire.
I provide my clients with simple mechanical tools that they can use to switch on those parts of the brain that have been turned off by their stress response, reconnect them to their heart, and open up the passageways to unconscious and sub-conscious memories necessary for problem solving and creativity. These include 26 techniques based on Applied Kinesiology, one of which is referred to as “Lazy 8’s. This tool is intended to switch on and create coherence between the right and left hemispheres of the brain and right and left visual focal centers. All together these tools and techniques expand consciousness and create a connection to higher levels of awareness that improve our chances for success in all kinds of activities. I will talk more about these behaviors in future blogs.
Once we’ve eliminated competing thoughts and expanded consciousness and awareness we are in a far better position to begin the process of manifesting. You’ve already heard that a picture is worth a thousand words so creating images in our mind are far better for manifesting than mere words. In previous blogs I’ve shared how to develop your imagery/visualization abilities. Just remember, to create the most powerful images, use all of your senses, visual, auditory, touch, taste, and olfactory. Also include how you would feel when you achieved or acquired your heart’s desire as this increases the energy of the image being transmitted. Finally, imagine your heart’s desire as if you’ve already achieved it. The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between something that is real or vividly imagined. If you vividly imagine it as if it’s already been achieved, the transmissions sent out by your brain will connect you with the appropriate people and experiences to make it happen. Your mind will be tuned in to positive experiences and behaviors, not your suffering, feelings of being victimized or neediness.
I then tell athletes who are trying to achieve their performance dreams that practice is required. In order to experience new ways of being one must practice new ways of being until they become second nature. Remember, performance occurs naturally when in The Zone or the Awakened Mind State, but this only happens with practice. The more you practice the better you get at it and the more effective and efficient your efforts. Science suggests it takes thirty consecutive days of consistent practice to create a new behavior and another thirty consecutive days of practice to dislodge old behaviors to effect change in our life. I don’t know how long it will take to begin manifesting your heart’s desire, but I do know it will never occur if you are not committed to engaging in those behaviors that bring it out. Wishing, pleading, or begging does not work.
Finally, you must do all of this without expectation of them working. The more you think about whether or not your efforts are working the further from The Zone or the Awakened Mind State you get. You will never know when you’re in this state because when in this state you lose awareness of yourself. Athletes become so involved with the task at hand that they are not focused on themselves. If they ask, “Am I in The Zone?” They’re not. They're focus is on themselves and not on the task at hand. If they start playing well and comment, “I must be in The Zone.” They’ve just lost it.
When they stop focusing on themselves they become part of the action. It’s akin to sleeping. When you sleep you are not aware that you exist. When you’re playing in The Zone you are focused only on the task at hand. When in an Awakened Mind State you are focused only on your heart’s desire. You must stop worrying about when you will achieve your heart’s desire or fear that your life will never change and just create the conditions that allow them to come into your life.
So what is your heart’s desire? Do you want to do better in school, in sports, at work, or at home? Do you want a relationship, more money, happiness, or success? You can have it all! Eliminate your fear and stress, expand your consciousness, create a vivid image of your heart’s desire, believe you already exist in that new world, and do it over and over without expectation until it suddenly appears, as if by magic. Pssst. Please pass on this secret.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
To be, or not to be...
For a long time I have been involved in the game of golf; first as a competitor, then coach, and finally as a Sport Psychologist. Today when I speak to golf groups, I feel I’m standing in front of a support group, like AA and have to admit my addiction. It usually gets a laugh, but golf can be very addicting, just like many other activities in life. The more important something is in our life, the more addicting it becomes and when we don’t perform the way we want or get what we want we suffer. That’s because we are rarely focused on what’s in front of us and instead bring our attention to the past or future. “I wish I hadn’t just hit that bad shot.” “I played better yesterday, what’s wrong with me today?”
To live and play in the moment means to focus only on the task at hand, completely free of past mistakes so that the future remains unwritten. This is difficult at best because our minds are constantly active: commenting, speculating, judging, wishing, hoping, comparing, and imagining. Only a very few of our thoughts pertain to the actual task at hand, and then our mind interprets it in terms of the past or future. When we are not focused on the task at hand, we suffer. We suffer because we do not have what we want, whether it’s love, money (or the things money can buy), social standing, career, or just wanting to play better golf. Suffering induces stress-like symptoms that ruin our game or life. The more we suffer, the greater the stress. The more stress we experience, the worse we perform on any task.
People fail to live in the present for many reasons. We lead very complex lives and play may roles throughout the day. We are parents (grandparents, sons, daughters,), spouses or significant others, friends, employees (employers) students – you get the picture. Each of these roles adds responsibilities to our lives. Is it any wonder that we are capable of nearly 100,000 thoughts a day? Is it any wonder we have trouble remaining focused on whatever task we are involved in? The ability to multi-task is considered advantageous in today’s hectic world. It is not beneficial to golf performance or our mental health. The more we try to do at one time, the more we think. This continues until it becomes a pattern that is difficult to break. Also, the more we think, the more our eyes move. In golf or in most other sports that spells disaster.
Because of our complex lives it’s easy to allow our attention to wander to the other roles we play when involved in any task. Very few people discipline themselves to control their thoughts so their minds don’t wander. That’s why it’s difficult to read a page of text without having to go back and re-read it to remember what we read. Our minds were elsewhere. If you are a student this can make it difficult to study for exams. Parents please don’t try to get your children to multi-task, not if you want them to be successful in school.
Even if our mind doesn’t wander to life’s other responsibilities but to thoughts of past mistakes or failures or future fears and/or expectations, our performance is affected in any activity. Because we don’t start out as masters of any activity we become involved in we experience far more mistakes and failures than we do successes. As a result, our performance histories are clouded with numerous mistakes and failures, and it’s these events that we remember.
Life is a learning process. Learning implies mistakes. We make many mistakes and fail far more often than we succeed when learning anything new. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes; it is natural and says nothing about our ability to learn or develop skill. Unfortunately, society has deemed mistakes as unacceptable, so it’s only natural to develop an aversion to making mistakes, regardless of our level of experience, and we become embarrassed when we make mistakes. Because our culture has no patience for mistakes in golf, or any other activity for that matter, we want everything yesterday and if we don’t succeed quickly, something must be wrong with us. This includes our participation in an utterly complex and completely unnatural sport like golf. What do you become embarrassed at when you make mistakes?
Let me share an example of the disdain for making mistakes our culture perpetuates. I have coached hundreds of beginners whose only mission was not to be embarrassed by their golf performance. While this seems natural and innocuous at first glance, the harm it causes is immense. What have we done to people for them to think that they are an embarrassment if they make mistakes, no matter how big or small, in an activity in which they have absolutely no experience? This fear of embarrassment (failure) is with us before we ever pick up a golf club and stays with us throughout our golfing careers. Even though they gain skill and may eliminate the mistakes that embarrass them early in the learning process, some golfers never relinquish their fear of embarrassment. Any mistake is determined to be embarrassing. But embarrassment is a choice. No commandment states, “Thou shall be embarrassed if thou makes a mistake.” If you consider certain mistakes signs of poor performance, then you may experience the fear of being embarrassed if you make those mistakes in front of others. Fear is debilitating. Fear is limiting. Fear is self-defeating. Fear induces stress-like symptoms that interfere with your ability to focus and perform or just live life.
All fear takes you out of the moment, interferes with your performance in all important activities, causing you to suffer, inducing stress, which leads to more mistakes and even greater fear. Because of your past history fear may have become a habit that overpowers your experiences. However, each time it’s experienced it’s a choice. I choose to fear or I choose not to fear. Ignoring, repressing, or suppressing your fears does not cause them to go away. You now have tools that can help you overcome your fear and end your stress; The Breath of Life and Attitude Adjustment Routine. Breathe. Change your attitude. And learn to live without fear and without stress destroying your life.
To live and play in the moment means to focus only on the task at hand, completely free of past mistakes so that the future remains unwritten. This is difficult at best because our minds are constantly active: commenting, speculating, judging, wishing, hoping, comparing, and imagining. Only a very few of our thoughts pertain to the actual task at hand, and then our mind interprets it in terms of the past or future. When we are not focused on the task at hand, we suffer. We suffer because we do not have what we want, whether it’s love, money (or the things money can buy), social standing, career, or just wanting to play better golf. Suffering induces stress-like symptoms that ruin our game or life. The more we suffer, the greater the stress. The more stress we experience, the worse we perform on any task.
People fail to live in the present for many reasons. We lead very complex lives and play may roles throughout the day. We are parents (grandparents, sons, daughters,), spouses or significant others, friends, employees (employers) students – you get the picture. Each of these roles adds responsibilities to our lives. Is it any wonder that we are capable of nearly 100,000 thoughts a day? Is it any wonder we have trouble remaining focused on whatever task we are involved in? The ability to multi-task is considered advantageous in today’s hectic world. It is not beneficial to golf performance or our mental health. The more we try to do at one time, the more we think. This continues until it becomes a pattern that is difficult to break. Also, the more we think, the more our eyes move. In golf or in most other sports that spells disaster.
Because of our complex lives it’s easy to allow our attention to wander to the other roles we play when involved in any task. Very few people discipline themselves to control their thoughts so their minds don’t wander. That’s why it’s difficult to read a page of text without having to go back and re-read it to remember what we read. Our minds were elsewhere. If you are a student this can make it difficult to study for exams. Parents please don’t try to get your children to multi-task, not if you want them to be successful in school.
Even if our mind doesn’t wander to life’s other responsibilities but to thoughts of past mistakes or failures or future fears and/or expectations, our performance is affected in any activity. Because we don’t start out as masters of any activity we become involved in we experience far more mistakes and failures than we do successes. As a result, our performance histories are clouded with numerous mistakes and failures, and it’s these events that we remember.
Life is a learning process. Learning implies mistakes. We make many mistakes and fail far more often than we succeed when learning anything new. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes; it is natural and says nothing about our ability to learn or develop skill. Unfortunately, society has deemed mistakes as unacceptable, so it’s only natural to develop an aversion to making mistakes, regardless of our level of experience, and we become embarrassed when we make mistakes. Because our culture has no patience for mistakes in golf, or any other activity for that matter, we want everything yesterday and if we don’t succeed quickly, something must be wrong with us. This includes our participation in an utterly complex and completely unnatural sport like golf. What do you become embarrassed at when you make mistakes?
Let me share an example of the disdain for making mistakes our culture perpetuates. I have coached hundreds of beginners whose only mission was not to be embarrassed by their golf performance. While this seems natural and innocuous at first glance, the harm it causes is immense. What have we done to people for them to think that they are an embarrassment if they make mistakes, no matter how big or small, in an activity in which they have absolutely no experience? This fear of embarrassment (failure) is with us before we ever pick up a golf club and stays with us throughout our golfing careers. Even though they gain skill and may eliminate the mistakes that embarrass them early in the learning process, some golfers never relinquish their fear of embarrassment. Any mistake is determined to be embarrassing. But embarrassment is a choice. No commandment states, “Thou shall be embarrassed if thou makes a mistake.” If you consider certain mistakes signs of poor performance, then you may experience the fear of being embarrassed if you make those mistakes in front of others. Fear is debilitating. Fear is limiting. Fear is self-defeating. Fear induces stress-like symptoms that interfere with your ability to focus and perform or just live life.
All fear takes you out of the moment, interferes with your performance in all important activities, causing you to suffer, inducing stress, which leads to more mistakes and even greater fear. Because of your past history fear may have become a habit that overpowers your experiences. However, each time it’s experienced it’s a choice. I choose to fear or I choose not to fear. Ignoring, repressing, or suppressing your fears does not cause them to go away. You now have tools that can help you overcome your fear and end your stress; The Breath of Life and Attitude Adjustment Routine. Breathe. Change your attitude. And learn to live without fear and without stress destroying your life.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Time in a Bottle
Over the last few months I’ve inundated you with options for combating the destructive effects of stress, including the Breath of Life, the Attitude Adjustment Routine, Relaxation Therapy, Visualization/Imagery, Deep Trance Meditation, Suggestive Relaxation with Magic Words, and Simulation Training. And of course I also suggested you could visit practitioners of massage, energy healing, acupuncture/acupressure, chiropractic, osteopathy, and reflexology. Did I miss any? I know that the process can be so overwhelming that it adds even more stress. So let’s take a Breath (of Life that is) and see where we’re at.
First, you must decide that you want to live stress free. Remember, stress is not the adverse or unwanted situations in your life but your responses to them. No matter what we do, life still happens and there are many things in life that are unwanted. But as Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, states, “We only suffer when we argue with what is.” If you resent something in your life and argue it should be different you give it energy and that situation takes over control of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and life in general. You are its victim. So you must decide whether you want the suffering to end even though the situation may not change, at least in that moment.
Every situation, good or bad produces both costs and benefits. My 99 year old maternal grandmother (Nanny to me) suffered a number of traumatic events in her early childhood that left deep emotional scars. She lives in Wisconsin with my parents and is in no hurry to transition out of this earthly life. When I call her on the phone and ask, “How are you doing” she replies, “So so.” I’ll then ask what’s the problem (because I know she wants to relate some misery) she’ll describe in detail what’s causing her suffering today. I’ll listen and then change the subject to talk about something funny or good that’s happening in my life or hers and she immediately perks up. She has learned that she gets more attention by relating her suffering to others than by expressing joy. She has outlived all of her siblings and friends and the younger members of our family have too many things going on in their lives to spend time with Nanny. It's not that they don't want to spend time with her. It's just that with everything they've got going on in life they don't think about spending time with her and she enjoys a lot of attention, as we all do. However, if they know she’s in pain they’ll make the effort to see her. All she really wants is attention and gets it through her suffering.
Are there benefits to your suffering? Do they outweigh the costs? If not then you need to take action. If not, you’ll continue to suffer. If time is an issue, choose one behavior: I would suggest the Breath of Life. Remember, proper breathing eliminates up to ninety percent of all stress hormones. You can find the directions for the Breath of Life in an earlier blog, Breathing is Life. Practice it for about five minutes each night when you retire to bed. It should help you fall asleep if you have any troubles falling asleep. Then practice it again for five minutes when you awake. It can bring in sufficient fresh oxygen into your system to give you a little boost. It’s very versatile as you can see. Practicing the Breath of Life at night and in the morning may help you remember to use it in times of distress.
Another activity that you can add to the Breath of Life once you’re comfortable with it is exercise, if you’re not already exercising. The best time to exercise is when you start noticing that you’ve succumbed to the pressures of stress. Exercise done at the time of a stressful episode can eliminate the effects of stress before the stress hormones have a chance to accumulate. While we may suffer during stress, it’s the long-term accumulation of stress hormones that are the most destructive. I like to do the Happy Penguin.
The Happy Penguin is nothing more than walking in place and gently slapping one’s thighs, mimicking the behaviors of penguins. This activity always brings a smile to my face as I consider how silly I look doing it. Smiling is another effective stress relief tool as the simple act of smiling releases chemicals into the bloodstream that counters the effects of stress hormones. If that’s not for you, walk, do jumping jacks, stamp your feet, any physical activity that gets your heart beating a little faster and your breathing a little deeper.
Also consider scheduling about thirty minutes of exercise at least three times per week. There are many more benefits to exercise than just stress relief, but that’s for another blog. First and foremost choose an activity that you enjoy. Yoga, jogging, cycling, swimming, Qi Gong, rebounding (trampolining), or a simple stroll will get your mind off your problems and provide some stress relief as well.
One of the side effects of stress is dehydration and very few people drink sufficient water anyway and so suffer from dehydration stress. This has a major impact on all the organs, joints, muscles, and brain function. Drinking 1/2 your body weight in ounces is now the recommended daily intake of water. If you weigh 100 pounds, that’s 50 ounces of water or 100 ounces (about a gallon) if you weigh 200 pounds. Sip the water every ten minutes or so, so you don’t find that you have to go to the bathroom every time you gulp down a glass. Remember, coffe, tea, soda, beer, or other alcoholic beverages are not a good substitue for pure clear water.
So, I’ve given you three things to do to alleviate the destructive effects of stress, breathing, exercising, and drinking water. If you can’t remember to do them, write down, Breathe, Exercise, Drink Water, on note cards and keep them in places where you’ll see them, like the bathroom mirror, on your desk, in your car.
Once these behaviors become habitual and you do them without thinking, then consider adding the Attitude Adjustment Routine, Visualization/Imagery training, Deep Trance Meditation, Suggestive Relaxation with Magic Words, and Simulation Training, one at a time in that order until your reaction to stress is minimal at best and can be dealt with quickly and easily. This may take a few months, but if you’ve suffered with stress for years then this is no time at all. Until next time…
First, you must decide that you want to live stress free. Remember, stress is not the adverse or unwanted situations in your life but your responses to them. No matter what we do, life still happens and there are many things in life that are unwanted. But as Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, states, “We only suffer when we argue with what is.” If you resent something in your life and argue it should be different you give it energy and that situation takes over control of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and life in general. You are its victim. So you must decide whether you want the suffering to end even though the situation may not change, at least in that moment.
Every situation, good or bad produces both costs and benefits. My 99 year old maternal grandmother (Nanny to me) suffered a number of traumatic events in her early childhood that left deep emotional scars. She lives in Wisconsin with my parents and is in no hurry to transition out of this earthly life. When I call her on the phone and ask, “How are you doing” she replies, “So so.” I’ll then ask what’s the problem (because I know she wants to relate some misery) she’ll describe in detail what’s causing her suffering today. I’ll listen and then change the subject to talk about something funny or good that’s happening in my life or hers and she immediately perks up. She has learned that she gets more attention by relating her suffering to others than by expressing joy. She has outlived all of her siblings and friends and the younger members of our family have too many things going on in their lives to spend time with Nanny. It's not that they don't want to spend time with her. It's just that with everything they've got going on in life they don't think about spending time with her and she enjoys a lot of attention, as we all do. However, if they know she’s in pain they’ll make the effort to see her. All she really wants is attention and gets it through her suffering.
Are there benefits to your suffering? Do they outweigh the costs? If not then you need to take action. If not, you’ll continue to suffer. If time is an issue, choose one behavior: I would suggest the Breath of Life. Remember, proper breathing eliminates up to ninety percent of all stress hormones. You can find the directions for the Breath of Life in an earlier blog, Breathing is Life. Practice it for about five minutes each night when you retire to bed. It should help you fall asleep if you have any troubles falling asleep. Then practice it again for five minutes when you awake. It can bring in sufficient fresh oxygen into your system to give you a little boost. It’s very versatile as you can see. Practicing the Breath of Life at night and in the morning may help you remember to use it in times of distress.
Another activity that you can add to the Breath of Life once you’re comfortable with it is exercise, if you’re not already exercising. The best time to exercise is when you start noticing that you’ve succumbed to the pressures of stress. Exercise done at the time of a stressful episode can eliminate the effects of stress before the stress hormones have a chance to accumulate. While we may suffer during stress, it’s the long-term accumulation of stress hormones that are the most destructive. I like to do the Happy Penguin.
The Happy Penguin is nothing more than walking in place and gently slapping one’s thighs, mimicking the behaviors of penguins. This activity always brings a smile to my face as I consider how silly I look doing it. Smiling is another effective stress relief tool as the simple act of smiling releases chemicals into the bloodstream that counters the effects of stress hormones. If that’s not for you, walk, do jumping jacks, stamp your feet, any physical activity that gets your heart beating a little faster and your breathing a little deeper.
Also consider scheduling about thirty minutes of exercise at least three times per week. There are many more benefits to exercise than just stress relief, but that’s for another blog. First and foremost choose an activity that you enjoy. Yoga, jogging, cycling, swimming, Qi Gong, rebounding (trampolining), or a simple stroll will get your mind off your problems and provide some stress relief as well.
One of the side effects of stress is dehydration and very few people drink sufficient water anyway and so suffer from dehydration stress. This has a major impact on all the organs, joints, muscles, and brain function. Drinking 1/2 your body weight in ounces is now the recommended daily intake of water. If you weigh 100 pounds, that’s 50 ounces of water or 100 ounces (about a gallon) if you weigh 200 pounds. Sip the water every ten minutes or so, so you don’t find that you have to go to the bathroom every time you gulp down a glass. Remember, coffe, tea, soda, beer, or other alcoholic beverages are not a good substitue for pure clear water.
So, I’ve given you three things to do to alleviate the destructive effects of stress, breathing, exercising, and drinking water. If you can’t remember to do them, write down, Breathe, Exercise, Drink Water, on note cards and keep them in places where you’ll see them, like the bathroom mirror, on your desk, in your car.
Once these behaviors become habitual and you do them without thinking, then consider adding the Attitude Adjustment Routine, Visualization/Imagery training, Deep Trance Meditation, Suggestive Relaxation with Magic Words, and Simulation Training, one at a time in that order until your reaction to stress is minimal at best and can be dealt with quickly and easily. This may take a few months, but if you’ve suffered with stress for years then this is no time at all. Until next time…
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Unleash the Power of the Tiger Within
Past mistakes and failures experienced in important situations have a way of creating uncertainty, stress, and anxiety in the future. If you focus on the uncertainty or potential negative outcomes associated with mistakes, failure. Or the wrong decision, your mind will not be on the task at hand and you will have no chance for success.
The jungle is a hostile environment even for such a prolific hunter as the tiger. You see hunting is not only dangerous for hunted: it’s dangerous for the hunter as well. At any moment the tiger could become injured or attacked by other members of the herd being hunted. To be successful the tiger is deaf and blind to everything except its intended prey. It neither sees nor hears the incredible chaos and confusion of a stampeding heard of animals trying to elude its attack. The tiger is also oblivious to the potential danger or uncertainty of the outcome. Life can also be just as hostile and we have to be deaf and blind to everything except the task before us as well as oblivious to the dangers of mistakes, failures, or wrong decisions. If not, we will experience stress, anxiety, confusion, and chaos in our lives.
The other day I felt like vegetating and so decided to watch television. As I was surfing through the 77 plus channels offered through our cable provider and finding nothing of any interest I decided to watch the news. So I flipped between news stations. Since I rarely watch the news as I know it’s all negative I found myself being pulled in by all the drama and victimization being portrayed. I had to use the Deep Trance Meditation protocol and Magic Words I presented in my last two blogs. It took longer than I expected to rid myself of the negative images and messages being offered in these news broadcasts. The good thing is that it reminded me that there is another step in the process if you find it difficult eliminating stress instantly after practicing these techniques. I refer to this final step as Simulation Training.
Once you are proficient using the Breath of Life, Attitude Adjustment Routine, Deep Trance Meditation, and Magic Words in practice and possibly in minor stressful situations, then follow the directions provided below. This is arguably the most powerful technique for instantaneously and automatically eliminating the chaos and confusion and transporting yourself into an “Awakened” or “High-Performance Mind” state.
This is a 6-week program. It only requires your attention 15-20 minutes once a day. However, it will be more effective if you can afford to do it 2-3 times per day. Aren’t you worth an hour to hour and a half a day?
For Week One, find a time when you will not be interrupted for 15-20 minutes. Sit in a comfortable chair, feet planted firmly on the floor, a hand on either leg, back straight, head up, and chin slightly and easily tucked in. Close your eyes and begin the Deep Trance Meditation protocol. When you feel completely at peace, insert your Magic Words and again check your level of relaxation.
If there is some physical tension or your mind is holding on to unwanted thoughts take another breath of Life, focusing completely on the breath and insert your Magic Words once again. During the week when you notice any stress or anxiety take a Breath of Life and insert your Magic Words into your thoughts. If the situation is too intense and the breath and Magic Words don’t work immediately use the complete Attitude Adjustment Routine as described in my previous blog, “Do you need a plumber.” Do this at least once a day for a week
In Week Two we will change things up slightly. You will start just as in Week One; finding 15-20 minutes when you will not be interrupted, getting into the same position as described above, and begin using Deep Trance Meditation and Magic Words. Now here comes the difference.
I want you to imagine that you’re in paradise. What’s paradise? That’s up to you. For me it’s lying on a tropical beach with a warm breeze blowing over my body.
Remember for your imaging practice to be its most effective you want to activate all of your senses. See it. Hear it. Feel it. Taste it. Smell it. In my paradise I see palm trees, bright aquamarine water, white sand, azure sky and puffy white clouds, and green grass. I hear the waves as they gently crash on the beach and the birds serenading me from above. I feel the warm breeze passing over my body and taste the salty marine air. I smell beautiful aromatic flowers. You get the picture.
This should make you even more relaxed and at peace. You should have forgotten about any demands of the day that could have caused you stress and anxiety. Again insert your magic word and go deeper into your relaxed state. It is quite all right if you fall asleep at anytime in this process. Again do this at least once a day (more times if possible) for about 15 – 20 minutes for the entiere week.
Here comes the real power of this technique. In week s three through six you will use it to get rid of the effects of fear, chaos, confusion, and stress when they surface. Your body will be free of energy blocks and traumatic energy. Your mind will be focused and free of distracting thoughts and your mind and body will work in perfect harmony.
Again, start as before finding a time when you will not be interrupted and assume the position. This may take 30-45 minutes on the first few days. As you become more proficient in its use it will again only take 15-20 minutes to work. Next, as vividly as you can recall your most adverse situation. Completely relive it. Feel the emotional pain: experience the tension or other physical signs of stress, with your mind completely unable to focus. Thoughts go whizzing through your head uncontrolled. Maybe it was an encounter with someone who is verbally abusive. Maybe it was a pop quiz in school that you were unprepared for. Maybe it was finding your schedule so packed full of important things to do with no time to complete even a few of them. You choose the situation that caused you the most suffering and frustration, one where you felt completely helpless and hopeless.
Now, take a Breath of Life and insert your Magic Words. Any relief yet? Return to your breathing. Is it slow, deep and rhythmical? If not take several more Breaths of Life until you begin to relax. Again insert your Magic Words. Has at least some of the tension melted away from your body? If not, take another Breath of Life and relax, stretch, or massage the tense or sore area. Again, insert your Magic Words.
Return to paradise. Imagine yourself being in that place that brings you inner peace and relaxation. When you are completely immersed in your fantasy insert your Magic Words. It’s perfectly natural to fall asleep so don’t try to fight it. If you haven’t fallen asleep, recall the adverse situation. Does it exert any emotional control over you? If so, begin the process again. When you get to the point that thinking about the situation produces no response you should find that by taking a Breath of Life and inserting your Magic Words in the real situation produces an immediate sense of inner peace.
You may find that once you can produce a sense of inner calm in one situation that it transcends all difficult or stressful situations. If not alter your practice to consider those situations that still require attention. All of this should take less than six weeks. Some people complain that they can’t find 15-20 minutes a day for six weeks to rehearse these techniques. I understand. However, if you do nothing, nothing will change and you will continue to suffer. Is that what you want? Do you want to suffer? Is there some payoff to suffering? Do you get attention and compassion from others when you tell them about your jerk of a boss or ex? Unfortunately people become tired of hearing about the same situation over and over. It becomes annoying like a broken record, CD, or DVD and people stop listening.
You will get more positive attention and people will want to know what you did to overcome the adversity in your life when you take control and Unleash the Power of the Tiger within.
The jungle is a hostile environment even for such a prolific hunter as the tiger. You see hunting is not only dangerous for hunted: it’s dangerous for the hunter as well. At any moment the tiger could become injured or attacked by other members of the herd being hunted. To be successful the tiger is deaf and blind to everything except its intended prey. It neither sees nor hears the incredible chaos and confusion of a stampeding heard of animals trying to elude its attack. The tiger is also oblivious to the potential danger or uncertainty of the outcome. Life can also be just as hostile and we have to be deaf and blind to everything except the task before us as well as oblivious to the dangers of mistakes, failures, or wrong decisions. If not, we will experience stress, anxiety, confusion, and chaos in our lives.
The other day I felt like vegetating and so decided to watch television. As I was surfing through the 77 plus channels offered through our cable provider and finding nothing of any interest I decided to watch the news. So I flipped between news stations. Since I rarely watch the news as I know it’s all negative I found myself being pulled in by all the drama and victimization being portrayed. I had to use the Deep Trance Meditation protocol and Magic Words I presented in my last two blogs. It took longer than I expected to rid myself of the negative images and messages being offered in these news broadcasts. The good thing is that it reminded me that there is another step in the process if you find it difficult eliminating stress instantly after practicing these techniques. I refer to this final step as Simulation Training.
Once you are proficient using the Breath of Life, Attitude Adjustment Routine, Deep Trance Meditation, and Magic Words in practice and possibly in minor stressful situations, then follow the directions provided below. This is arguably the most powerful technique for instantaneously and automatically eliminating the chaos and confusion and transporting yourself into an “Awakened” or “High-Performance Mind” state.
This is a 6-week program. It only requires your attention 15-20 minutes once a day. However, it will be more effective if you can afford to do it 2-3 times per day. Aren’t you worth an hour to hour and a half a day?
For Week One, find a time when you will not be interrupted for 15-20 minutes. Sit in a comfortable chair, feet planted firmly on the floor, a hand on either leg, back straight, head up, and chin slightly and easily tucked in. Close your eyes and begin the Deep Trance Meditation protocol. When you feel completely at peace, insert your Magic Words and again check your level of relaxation.
If there is some physical tension or your mind is holding on to unwanted thoughts take another breath of Life, focusing completely on the breath and insert your Magic Words once again. During the week when you notice any stress or anxiety take a Breath of Life and insert your Magic Words into your thoughts. If the situation is too intense and the breath and Magic Words don’t work immediately use the complete Attitude Adjustment Routine as described in my previous blog, “Do you need a plumber.” Do this at least once a day for a week
In Week Two we will change things up slightly. You will start just as in Week One; finding 15-20 minutes when you will not be interrupted, getting into the same position as described above, and begin using Deep Trance Meditation and Magic Words. Now here comes the difference.
I want you to imagine that you’re in paradise. What’s paradise? That’s up to you. For me it’s lying on a tropical beach with a warm breeze blowing over my body.
Remember for your imaging practice to be its most effective you want to activate all of your senses. See it. Hear it. Feel it. Taste it. Smell it. In my paradise I see palm trees, bright aquamarine water, white sand, azure sky and puffy white clouds, and green grass. I hear the waves as they gently crash on the beach and the birds serenading me from above. I feel the warm breeze passing over my body and taste the salty marine air. I smell beautiful aromatic flowers. You get the picture.
This should make you even more relaxed and at peace. You should have forgotten about any demands of the day that could have caused you stress and anxiety. Again insert your magic word and go deeper into your relaxed state. It is quite all right if you fall asleep at anytime in this process. Again do this at least once a day (more times if possible) for about 15 – 20 minutes for the entiere week.
Here comes the real power of this technique. In week s three through six you will use it to get rid of the effects of fear, chaos, confusion, and stress when they surface. Your body will be free of energy blocks and traumatic energy. Your mind will be focused and free of distracting thoughts and your mind and body will work in perfect harmony.
Again, start as before finding a time when you will not be interrupted and assume the position. This may take 30-45 minutes on the first few days. As you become more proficient in its use it will again only take 15-20 minutes to work. Next, as vividly as you can recall your most adverse situation. Completely relive it. Feel the emotional pain: experience the tension or other physical signs of stress, with your mind completely unable to focus. Thoughts go whizzing through your head uncontrolled. Maybe it was an encounter with someone who is verbally abusive. Maybe it was a pop quiz in school that you were unprepared for. Maybe it was finding your schedule so packed full of important things to do with no time to complete even a few of them. You choose the situation that caused you the most suffering and frustration, one where you felt completely helpless and hopeless.
Now, take a Breath of Life and insert your Magic Words. Any relief yet? Return to your breathing. Is it slow, deep and rhythmical? If not take several more Breaths of Life until you begin to relax. Again insert your Magic Words. Has at least some of the tension melted away from your body? If not, take another Breath of Life and relax, stretch, or massage the tense or sore area. Again, insert your Magic Words.
Return to paradise. Imagine yourself being in that place that brings you inner peace and relaxation. When you are completely immersed in your fantasy insert your Magic Words. It’s perfectly natural to fall asleep so don’t try to fight it. If you haven’t fallen asleep, recall the adverse situation. Does it exert any emotional control over you? If so, begin the process again. When you get to the point that thinking about the situation produces no response you should find that by taking a Breath of Life and inserting your Magic Words in the real situation produces an immediate sense of inner peace.
You may find that once you can produce a sense of inner calm in one situation that it transcends all difficult or stressful situations. If not alter your practice to consider those situations that still require attention. All of this should take less than six weeks. Some people complain that they can’t find 15-20 minutes a day for six weeks to rehearse these techniques. I understand. However, if you do nothing, nothing will change and you will continue to suffer. Is that what you want? Do you want to suffer? Is there some payoff to suffering? Do you get attention and compassion from others when you tell them about your jerk of a boss or ex? Unfortunately people become tired of hearing about the same situation over and over. It becomes annoying like a broken record, CD, or DVD and people stop listening.
You will get more positive attention and people will want to know what you did to overcome the adversity in your life when you take control and Unleash the Power of the Tiger within.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Do you believe in magic?
In 1965 John Sebastian and The Lovin Spoonful released their first single entitled, Do You Believe in Magic. The song was well-received by the public and became a top ten hit on the Billboard Hot 100, peaking at #9. According to the lyrics, the magic referenced in the title is the power of music to supply happiness and freedom to both those who make it and those who listen to it. Music does have that kind of power. So do words, sounds, smells, feelings, images, and experiences. They have the power to release you from your present state of suffering. They also have the power to imprison you. The choice is yours. It may not seem like it at times. It may seem that you are a victim of your circumstances, but that’s because of previous training and unintended programming from well meaning people in our lives. But you can stop being a victim any time you wish and alter your future.
In my last blog I introduced Deep Trance Meditation and how you could use relaxing music, aromatherapy and the Breath of Life to put you into an altered state of consciousness. While in this altered state of consciousness, referred to by many scientists as the Awakened Mind State an individual utilizes whole brain functioning, are at their most creative, and their subconscious mind is completely open to suggestion. By incorporating “magic words” into the meditation we use a process referred to as Suggestive Relaxation to reprogram your subconscious mind for success, happiness, abundance, freedom, or any experience you want.
By introducing your very own “Magic Words” at the appropriate time during your Suggestive Relaxation practice you can instantly put yourself into the “Awakened” or “High-Performance Mind” state. You will experience mental clarity, insight, and gain a higher degree of awareness that can help solve any problem. You will automatically and instantaneously discharge any energy build up, so your body will be free from tension. For your “Magic Words” to gain the power to alter your state of consciousness you must commit to daily practice for at least a month. Don’t expect immediate results; if you do, you will be disappointed and stop practicing long before you have a chance to succeed.
You choose your own Magic Words. Magic Words are not necessarily words. They me be, but they may also be images, physical sensations or movements, emotional feelings, sounds or even music. There are no rules for selecting magic Words. They should be unique to you, come from your own experience, and hold some special meaning. Let me share Magic Words some clients used to alter their subconscious programming.
Twenty-something Phil loved watching “He-Man”, an animated cartoon when he was young. He used to run around the house carrying his he- man sword shouting “I’ve got the power”, something He-man shouted in the cartoon. Now he shouts (under his breath) “I’ve got the Power” when he feels he’s losing control of his thoughts and stress is starting to control his life.
Ted, a physician in the ER of a major hospital uses a defibrillator to restart the hearts of patients whose hearts have stopped as a result of major injury or illness. Before placing the pads on the chest of the patient that send electricity surging through the patient’s body, he yells “Clear” to keep others in the ER from coming in contact with the patient and accidentally having their hearts defibrillated. Now he uses it to clear his mind of negative, destructive self-talk when he gets in adverse situations.
Wendy, now in her forties fondly remembers the time when she had young infants. She loved cuddling them close to her, feeling their small hearts beating next to hers. These fond memories completely relax her body when her chest tightens and a lump forms her throat when she has to make sales presentations before difficult clients.
JoJo, a singer in a rock band, used R.E.M.’s song, “Losing My Religion” to activate his tempo and rhythm while playing golf as this song had the same tempo and rhythm as his best swings. Marissa, a young gymnast used the word “Flip” to help her “flip” out of a state of fear and into a state of calm confidence before starting her balance beam routine. Anytime Jack sensed a feeling of smallness or intimidation he placed two fingers of his right hand on his nabhe or psychic navel center located two inches below his belly button and took a Breath of Life. He felt extremely powerful doing this and no longer felt a victim of people who tried to intimidate him.
What words, smells, sounds, feelings, images, or songs in your life have this kind of magic power? Think back in your life when you experienced the success, happiness, abundance, inner peace, or freedom that is now missing from your life at times. What kinds of things were associated with those earlier experiences? These now can become the basis for your Magic Words. To give them their power use the process I described in my last blog and after each time in the Deep Trance Mediation process where you took a Breath of Life insert your Magic Word and feel the sense of peace and relaxation overtaking you. As you sink deeper and deeper into an altered state your subconscious mind will begin to associate this state with the Breath of Life and your Magic Word.
After about a month or so you should be able to take a Breath of Life and insert your magic Word into any situation and feel an instantaneous sense of peace and harmony. You will be able to focus on the task at hand and will be more productive, happier, and freer to confront life on your terms.
“Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart? How the music can free her whenever it starts? And it's magic, if the music is groovy. It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie. I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul. But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll. If you believe in magic don't bother to choose. If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues. Just go and listen it'll start with a smile. It won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try. Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find how you got there, so just blow your mind. If you believe in magic, come along with me. We'll dance until morning 'til there's just you and me. And maybe, if the music is right I'll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night. And we'll go dancing, baby, then you'll see how the magic's in the music and the music's in me. Yeah. Do you believe in magic? Yeah, believe in the magic of a young girl's soul. Believe in the magic of rock and roll. Believe in the magic that can set you free. Ohh, talking 'bout magic”
Do you believe in magic?
In my last blog I introduced Deep Trance Meditation and how you could use relaxing music, aromatherapy and the Breath of Life to put you into an altered state of consciousness. While in this altered state of consciousness, referred to by many scientists as the Awakened Mind State an individual utilizes whole brain functioning, are at their most creative, and their subconscious mind is completely open to suggestion. By incorporating “magic words” into the meditation we use a process referred to as Suggestive Relaxation to reprogram your subconscious mind for success, happiness, abundance, freedom, or any experience you want.
By introducing your very own “Magic Words” at the appropriate time during your Suggestive Relaxation practice you can instantly put yourself into the “Awakened” or “High-Performance Mind” state. You will experience mental clarity, insight, and gain a higher degree of awareness that can help solve any problem. You will automatically and instantaneously discharge any energy build up, so your body will be free from tension. For your “Magic Words” to gain the power to alter your state of consciousness you must commit to daily practice for at least a month. Don’t expect immediate results; if you do, you will be disappointed and stop practicing long before you have a chance to succeed.
You choose your own Magic Words. Magic Words are not necessarily words. They me be, but they may also be images, physical sensations or movements, emotional feelings, sounds or even music. There are no rules for selecting magic Words. They should be unique to you, come from your own experience, and hold some special meaning. Let me share Magic Words some clients used to alter their subconscious programming.
Twenty-something Phil loved watching “He-Man”, an animated cartoon when he was young. He used to run around the house carrying his he- man sword shouting “I’ve got the power”, something He-man shouted in the cartoon. Now he shouts (under his breath) “I’ve got the Power” when he feels he’s losing control of his thoughts and stress is starting to control his life.
Ted, a physician in the ER of a major hospital uses a defibrillator to restart the hearts of patients whose hearts have stopped as a result of major injury or illness. Before placing the pads on the chest of the patient that send electricity surging through the patient’s body, he yells “Clear” to keep others in the ER from coming in contact with the patient and accidentally having their hearts defibrillated. Now he uses it to clear his mind of negative, destructive self-talk when he gets in adverse situations.
Wendy, now in her forties fondly remembers the time when she had young infants. She loved cuddling them close to her, feeling their small hearts beating next to hers. These fond memories completely relax her body when her chest tightens and a lump forms her throat when she has to make sales presentations before difficult clients.
JoJo, a singer in a rock band, used R.E.M.’s song, “Losing My Religion” to activate his tempo and rhythm while playing golf as this song had the same tempo and rhythm as his best swings. Marissa, a young gymnast used the word “Flip” to help her “flip” out of a state of fear and into a state of calm confidence before starting her balance beam routine. Anytime Jack sensed a feeling of smallness or intimidation he placed two fingers of his right hand on his nabhe or psychic navel center located two inches below his belly button and took a Breath of Life. He felt extremely powerful doing this and no longer felt a victim of people who tried to intimidate him.
What words, smells, sounds, feelings, images, or songs in your life have this kind of magic power? Think back in your life when you experienced the success, happiness, abundance, inner peace, or freedom that is now missing from your life at times. What kinds of things were associated with those earlier experiences? These now can become the basis for your Magic Words. To give them their power use the process I described in my last blog and after each time in the Deep Trance Mediation process where you took a Breath of Life insert your Magic Word and feel the sense of peace and relaxation overtaking you. As you sink deeper and deeper into an altered state your subconscious mind will begin to associate this state with the Breath of Life and your Magic Word.
After about a month or so you should be able to take a Breath of Life and insert your magic Word into any situation and feel an instantaneous sense of peace and harmony. You will be able to focus on the task at hand and will be more productive, happier, and freer to confront life on your terms.
“Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart? How the music can free her whenever it starts? And it's magic, if the music is groovy. It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie. I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul. But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll. If you believe in magic don't bother to choose. If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues. Just go and listen it'll start with a smile. It won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try. Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find how you got there, so just blow your mind. If you believe in magic, come along with me. We'll dance until morning 'til there's just you and me. And maybe, if the music is right I'll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night. And we'll go dancing, baby, then you'll see how the magic's in the music and the music's in me. Yeah. Do you believe in magic? Yeah, believe in the magic of a young girl's soul. Believe in the magic of rock and roll. Believe in the magic that can set you free. Ohh, talking 'bout magic”
Do you believe in magic?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
After doing a Jalianwala Bagh on Indian tigers, why shed crocodile tears now ??
Now that I have your attention... Have you ever struggled all day trying to solve a problem without success only to wake in the middle of the night with the perfect solution? During sleep your conscious mind rested, allowing your subconscious and unconscious minds to creatively conjure up solutions not open to the conscious mind. You can actually learn to do this during the day while you’re awake. This is referred to as the “Awakened Mind State”. The conscious mind must be completely at rest for this to occur. I have taught clients how to do this through a process called Deep Trance Meditation.
Deep Trance Meditation combines Vibrational Sound Therapy, Aromatherapy, and Transformational Breathwork. Many times, soothing music helps takes the edge off and helps one relax, allowing for a deeper meditative state. This is the basis of Vibrational Sound Therapy – music that produces relaxing vibrations. Specific fragrances have been found to produce different effects on the body. Aromatherapy takes advantage of this technology and helps deepen the meditative state.
Deep Trance Meditation creates an altered state of consciousness that opens up new energy pathways between the left and right hemispheres of your brain, which leads to what scientists, refer to as the “Awakened Mind State” or “High-Performance Mind”. The “Awakened Mind State” produces a synchronicity between the two halves of your brain that researchers have found dramatically improves brain functioning: improved brain functioning increases learning, memory, creativity, and intuition. The Awakened Mind State has also been shown to drastically lower levels of stress hormones. Drastically reducing stress hormones produces remarkable improvements in psychological, emotional, and physical health.
Benefits of Deep Trance Meditation
The benefits of Deep Trance Meditation include:
· Heightened sense of awareness
· Blissful inner calm
· Stress hormone levels nearly zero
· Increases in mind power and creativity
· Alter stubborn psychological programming
· Improved psychological, emotional, and physical health
Deep Trance Meditation is a simple process that once learned will be able to be repeated in the privacy of your own home. The more you practice the faster you will be able to produce the Awakened Mind State. Eventually with practice and the proper verbal keys you will be able to place yourself in this altered state of consciousness almost instantly.
Achieving the deepest altered state through meditation requires a combination of the appropriate sound vibrations (music), the right fragrance and a mental tool that takes you deep within so you lose connection to your physical world. I have found certain music helps achieve a state of calmness. My favorite is Pachelbel’s Canons and music with a didgeridoo. Find music that helps you produce a state of serenity. It’s best if it’s instrumental – no words.
The right fragrance depends on the state you’re in or trying to correct and your preference. Below are listed four of the most common emotional reactions to stress in our lives and the fragrances that help counteract those emotional states.
Anxiety/Stress Depression/Helplessness/Hopelessness
Bergamot Clary Sage
Jasmine Jasmine
Lavender Lavender
Fear Anger/Hostility
Lavender Lavender
Frankincense Chamomile Roman
Clary Sage Chamomile German
Sandalwood Bergamot
Chamomile
Cypress
Vetiver
Lemon
Bergamot
Orange
Cedarwood
Neroli
If you prefer others, use those. Place the fragrance in a burner and light according to directions. Now follow the rest of the directions to enter a deep meditative-like trance.
· Lie or sit as directed for the other exercises.
· Close your eyes.
· Take five Breaths of Life.
· While focusing on your breathing allow your breath to return to normal – deep, slow, and
rhythmical.
· Become aware of the fragrance you chose. Notice the calmness that is overtaking you.
· Listen to the music. Notice how you are becoming more and more relaxed.
· Take five more Breaths of Life.
· Allow your breathing to return to normal.
· Become aware of any thoughts that are entering your mind. Allow them to drift through.
It’s not necessary to try not thinking. See your thoughts drifting through your mind like
clouds in the sky.
· Smile.
· Take one more Breath of Life.
· Relax. If you feel tension anywhere in your body, stretch, shake, or massage the affected
area.
· Take another Breath of Life.
· Imagine that you are sitting on a warm beach, under a palm tree. Feel a slight breeze
gently cross your face.
· Look out into the ocean. See the waves as they slowly roll onto shore.
· You are relaxed in mind, body, and spirit.
· This brings a sense of joy to your life. Feel the joy.
· Take another Breath of Life, slowly, deeply, rhythmically.
· The golden sun in the bright blue sky warms your entire body. Feel the warmth.
· You see rays of golden sunlight streaming down.
· You notice that you are taking on a white sheen – you are becoming a white light.
· You have become one with the sun and are now looking down on the green and blue planet.
· It looks peaceful.
· You have the power to change anything.
· You have the power to be anything.
· You are everything.
· Take two Breaths of Life.
· Allow any thoughts to drift in and out of your mind.
· Listen to the music and rest
Many people fall asleep long before this stage of the exercise. If you do, that’s perfect. You will experience a deep and restful sleep. When you awake or end the session, open your eyes slowly, breathe fully and deeply, and smile. Stretch out if you need to and arise from your bed slowly. You may be a little woozy. If you practiced the exercise just before retiring for the night and fell asleep, great! You’ll awake in the morning refreshed and ready to face the world in control of your behaviors, beliefs, attitude, thoughts, and emotions. Practice this technique daily for a month and then as needed. Some people enjoy the experience so much they use it for the rest of their life. Many people use this exercise to help them get the rest they need while they sleep or as a power nap during the day. Find out when and how it works best for you.
Deep Trance Meditation combines Vibrational Sound Therapy, Aromatherapy, and Transformational Breathwork. Many times, soothing music helps takes the edge off and helps one relax, allowing for a deeper meditative state. This is the basis of Vibrational Sound Therapy – music that produces relaxing vibrations. Specific fragrances have been found to produce different effects on the body. Aromatherapy takes advantage of this technology and helps deepen the meditative state.
Deep Trance Meditation creates an altered state of consciousness that opens up new energy pathways between the left and right hemispheres of your brain, which leads to what scientists, refer to as the “Awakened Mind State” or “High-Performance Mind”. The “Awakened Mind State” produces a synchronicity between the two halves of your brain that researchers have found dramatically improves brain functioning: improved brain functioning increases learning, memory, creativity, and intuition. The Awakened Mind State has also been shown to drastically lower levels of stress hormones. Drastically reducing stress hormones produces remarkable improvements in psychological, emotional, and physical health.
Benefits of Deep Trance Meditation
The benefits of Deep Trance Meditation include:
· Heightened sense of awareness
· Blissful inner calm
· Stress hormone levels nearly zero
· Increases in mind power and creativity
· Alter stubborn psychological programming
· Improved psychological, emotional, and physical health
Deep Trance Meditation is a simple process that once learned will be able to be repeated in the privacy of your own home. The more you practice the faster you will be able to produce the Awakened Mind State. Eventually with practice and the proper verbal keys you will be able to place yourself in this altered state of consciousness almost instantly.
Achieving the deepest altered state through meditation requires a combination of the appropriate sound vibrations (music), the right fragrance and a mental tool that takes you deep within so you lose connection to your physical world. I have found certain music helps achieve a state of calmness. My favorite is Pachelbel’s Canons and music with a didgeridoo. Find music that helps you produce a state of serenity. It’s best if it’s instrumental – no words.
The right fragrance depends on the state you’re in or trying to correct and your preference. Below are listed four of the most common emotional reactions to stress in our lives and the fragrances that help counteract those emotional states.
Anxiety/Stress Depression/Helplessness/Hopelessness
Bergamot Clary Sage
Jasmine Jasmine
Lavender Lavender
Fear Anger/Hostility
Lavender Lavender
Frankincense Chamomile Roman
Clary Sage Chamomile German
Sandalwood Bergamot
Chamomile
Cypress
Vetiver
Lemon
Bergamot
Orange
Cedarwood
Neroli
If you prefer others, use those. Place the fragrance in a burner and light according to directions. Now follow the rest of the directions to enter a deep meditative-like trance.
· Lie or sit as directed for the other exercises.
· Close your eyes.
· Take five Breaths of Life.
· While focusing on your breathing allow your breath to return to normal – deep, slow, and
rhythmical.
· Become aware of the fragrance you chose. Notice the calmness that is overtaking you.
· Listen to the music. Notice how you are becoming more and more relaxed.
· Take five more Breaths of Life.
· Allow your breathing to return to normal.
· Become aware of any thoughts that are entering your mind. Allow them to drift through.
It’s not necessary to try not thinking. See your thoughts drifting through your mind like
clouds in the sky.
· Smile.
· Take one more Breath of Life.
· Relax. If you feel tension anywhere in your body, stretch, shake, or massage the affected
area.
· Take another Breath of Life.
· Imagine that you are sitting on a warm beach, under a palm tree. Feel a slight breeze
gently cross your face.
· Look out into the ocean. See the waves as they slowly roll onto shore.
· You are relaxed in mind, body, and spirit.
· This brings a sense of joy to your life. Feel the joy.
· Take another Breath of Life, slowly, deeply, rhythmically.
· The golden sun in the bright blue sky warms your entire body. Feel the warmth.
· You see rays of golden sunlight streaming down.
· You notice that you are taking on a white sheen – you are becoming a white light.
· You have become one with the sun and are now looking down on the green and blue planet.
· It looks peaceful.
· You have the power to change anything.
· You have the power to be anything.
· You are everything.
· Take two Breaths of Life.
· Allow any thoughts to drift in and out of your mind.
· Listen to the music and rest
Many people fall asleep long before this stage of the exercise. If you do, that’s perfect. You will experience a deep and restful sleep. When you awake or end the session, open your eyes slowly, breathe fully and deeply, and smile. Stretch out if you need to and arise from your bed slowly. You may be a little woozy. If you practiced the exercise just before retiring for the night and fell asleep, great! You’ll awake in the morning refreshed and ready to face the world in control of your behaviors, beliefs, attitude, thoughts, and emotions. Practice this technique daily for a month and then as needed. Some people enjoy the experience so much they use it for the rest of their life. Many people use this exercise to help them get the rest they need while they sleep or as a power nap during the day. Find out when and how it works best for you.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Oops!
When I sent a notification email announcing my last blog, “Imagine a Stress Free Life”, inadvertently I wrote, “Imagine a Stress-filled Life” in the subject line. Many of you pointed out my slip saying, in effect, “Why would I want to imagine a stress-filled life? I already live one.” Well, as I learned, there are no mistakes. Maybe we live a stress-filled life because we cannot imagine anything but. According to the oldest and most powerful Law of the Universe we attract that to which we direct our attention. If I can only imagine what I experience then my experience controls my imagination and my life. My words then become testament to my beliefs and control my destiny.
I think it’s amazing that simple little statements of belief control our life experiences. My entire life I believed in “No Pain, No Gain.” I also believed in the great American Dream that I could have anything I wanted if I just pursued it with everything I could. So I struggled and sacrificed and put all my effort into everything I did. That was true whether the pursuit was a career, love, relationship, education, spiritual path, or social and recreational endeavors. All along the way, I delayed gratification and silently suffered, knowing that someday all my dreams would come true. Well, I’m still waiting. That’s because I had specific outcomes that would be realized as a result of my effort and sacrifice. When something didn’t turn out as I had anticipated all that I was left with was all the pain I suffered along the way. I then did as every good American would do; I pulled up my boot straps, put the pain to the side and started over.
Even when things turned out perfectly I wasn’t satisfied, knowing that there was more out there to achieve. I became addicted to the pursuit and the pain. I could never be happy believing in “No Pain, No Gain.” I just didn’t realize it. I even chronicled all my trials and tribulations in my book, Ascent Into Hell. My life was a constant struggle to climb out of my self-imposed hell only to find that when I reached the pinnacle all I found was a deeper and darker hell. Fortunately I met people along the way who were more than willing to help me; to point out the fallacy of my beliefs and to provide me with tools to help me get out of my suffering.
One of these people was Esther Hicks who channels an entity known only as Abraham. She summarized my life by stating if you believe in No Pain, No Gain, that’s exactly what you get. How simple! If we expect to experience pain in our efforts to move forward, we get pain regardless of whether or not our efforts result in us moving forward, going backwards, or staying put. If we experience sufficient pain, pain becomes part of who we are whether we want it or not.
When I realized that I was the source of my own pain and that I had a choice between happiness and pain regardless of the situation, I finally decided on happiness. My happiness is not dictated by my experiences. I have relinquished my expectations that my efforts will yield specific outcomes that I have deemed desirable. I have learned that many times I couldn’t imagine the extent to which I could be happy with simple pleasures. The Universe has provided me with experiences that far outdistanced any outcome I could have imagined. It took me a long time and a lot of effort to get to this point, and yes a lot of struggling.
Recently I attended a workshop presented by Dr. Michael Ulm who asked the audience if we believed in miracles. He stated that 25% of people believe in miracles while 25% do not. The other 50% do not know whether or not miracles actually occur. He stated that miracles occur all the time and we can have them any time we want if we believe in miracles, believe they can happen in our lives, and believe we deserve them. In other words, our lives could change instantly. We just had to surrender to the best the Universe has to offer. Oh no! I just realized that my transformation needn’t have taken so long. It could have happened instantly. I believed it would take time and so it did.
Today I fully believe that my life is a miracle and am grateful for every moment, every breath, regardless of whether or not the experience is desired. There is a purpose to my life and I admit that I do not understand why I have the experiences I do and that there is a plan greater for me, greater than my feeble mind can comprehend. Every action I take is for my greater glory and good without expectation of what the future should look like. I can never be frustrated. I can never be disappointed. I can never suffer. And in those rarer and rarer times when human frailties take over I have tools I can use to end the suffering instantly, including the Breath of Life and the Attitude Adjustment Routine. I then imagine the Universe providing me with everything I need and want.
Do you believe in miracles? Can you imagine a stress free life? Can you imagine having everything you ever wanted? What are you waiting for?
I think it’s amazing that simple little statements of belief control our life experiences. My entire life I believed in “No Pain, No Gain.” I also believed in the great American Dream that I could have anything I wanted if I just pursued it with everything I could. So I struggled and sacrificed and put all my effort into everything I did. That was true whether the pursuit was a career, love, relationship, education, spiritual path, or social and recreational endeavors. All along the way, I delayed gratification and silently suffered, knowing that someday all my dreams would come true. Well, I’m still waiting. That’s because I had specific outcomes that would be realized as a result of my effort and sacrifice. When something didn’t turn out as I had anticipated all that I was left with was all the pain I suffered along the way. I then did as every good American would do; I pulled up my boot straps, put the pain to the side and started over.
Even when things turned out perfectly I wasn’t satisfied, knowing that there was more out there to achieve. I became addicted to the pursuit and the pain. I could never be happy believing in “No Pain, No Gain.” I just didn’t realize it. I even chronicled all my trials and tribulations in my book, Ascent Into Hell. My life was a constant struggle to climb out of my self-imposed hell only to find that when I reached the pinnacle all I found was a deeper and darker hell. Fortunately I met people along the way who were more than willing to help me; to point out the fallacy of my beliefs and to provide me with tools to help me get out of my suffering.
One of these people was Esther Hicks who channels an entity known only as Abraham. She summarized my life by stating if you believe in No Pain, No Gain, that’s exactly what you get. How simple! If we expect to experience pain in our efforts to move forward, we get pain regardless of whether or not our efforts result in us moving forward, going backwards, or staying put. If we experience sufficient pain, pain becomes part of who we are whether we want it or not.
When I realized that I was the source of my own pain and that I had a choice between happiness and pain regardless of the situation, I finally decided on happiness. My happiness is not dictated by my experiences. I have relinquished my expectations that my efforts will yield specific outcomes that I have deemed desirable. I have learned that many times I couldn’t imagine the extent to which I could be happy with simple pleasures. The Universe has provided me with experiences that far outdistanced any outcome I could have imagined. It took me a long time and a lot of effort to get to this point, and yes a lot of struggling.
Recently I attended a workshop presented by Dr. Michael Ulm who asked the audience if we believed in miracles. He stated that 25% of people believe in miracles while 25% do not. The other 50% do not know whether or not miracles actually occur. He stated that miracles occur all the time and we can have them any time we want if we believe in miracles, believe they can happen in our lives, and believe we deserve them. In other words, our lives could change instantly. We just had to surrender to the best the Universe has to offer. Oh no! I just realized that my transformation needn’t have taken so long. It could have happened instantly. I believed it would take time and so it did.
Today I fully believe that my life is a miracle and am grateful for every moment, every breath, regardless of whether or not the experience is desired. There is a purpose to my life and I admit that I do not understand why I have the experiences I do and that there is a plan greater for me, greater than my feeble mind can comprehend. Every action I take is for my greater glory and good without expectation of what the future should look like. I can never be frustrated. I can never be disappointed. I can never suffer. And in those rarer and rarer times when human frailties take over I have tools I can use to end the suffering instantly, including the Breath of Life and the Attitude Adjustment Routine. I then imagine the Universe providing me with everything I need and want.
Do you believe in miracles? Can you imagine a stress free life? Can you imagine having everything you ever wanted? What are you waiting for?
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Imagine a Stress Free Life
There is a Chinese proverb that says, “A stressed man walks a stressed mile. A relaxed man walks a relaxed mile.” How we choose to react to situations determines our experience of them and the effect they have on us that day and the next. How we feel in response to a situation is determined by a decision, conscious or unconscious, we have taken as to how that situation will make us feel.
Running a mile in under 4 minutes was considered impossible. Experts said it was physically impossible and psychologically dangerous. That was until 1957 when Roger Bannister ran a mile in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds. Within forty-six days, John Landy ran a mile in 3 minutes 57.9 seconds. By the end of that year, another sixteen runners ran a mile in under four minutes. How did Bannister achieve the impossible? Why were sixteen other runners able to accomplish the same impossible feat?
Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes because he chose to and believed he could? He managed his state of mind, his physiology, and directed his outcome. By choosing the impossible he proved to the rest of the world that the impossible is possible.
Many people feel that not reacting to their stress-filled environment with anything other than charged emotions, feeling helpless and hopeless and that happiness, health, and a productive, successful life are completely impossible. Are you one of these? Right now you have a choice. How you consciously or unconsciously choose to react to your frenetic, demanding, fast-paced life is completely up to you. You can completely change how you think and feel if you want to.
To help you learn how to respond differently to your present situation I present a technique called, “Imagine a Stress Free Life.” You will use the fundamentals of this very simple yet powerful tool to completely change how you respond to your environment. You may not be able to change your circumstances, but you have the power to change how you react to it. Scientific research and anecdotal evidence prove that the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined.
Before we start this exercise I want you to think about a stressful event in your life. How does it make you feel? Does your body get tense? Does your mind race with all the potential disastrous outcomes or pain that you experience. On a piece of paper, diary, or notebook write down as much information about the event as possible. You will use this information to help you change your reaction to it through the visualization process which appears below. Please read completely through all directions before attempting the entire routine.
· Find a time when you will be uninterrupted for at least fifteen to thirty minutes.
· Either sit in a chair - back straight, chin in, neck elongated,
hands on legs, feet flat on the floor or lie flat on your back in bed or on a sofa, legs stretched
out and your arms lying at your sides.
· Close your eyes.
· Now imagine the event that you just wrote down. Allow yourself to be completely
overwhelmed by the situation, just as you normally experience while stressed out. Feel the
same feelings. Think the same thoughts.
· Once you are completely reliving the experience take 2-3 Breaths of Life or more until you
once again are calm.
· Now, imagine that you are breathing in a white mist, as much as is comfortable.
· Visualize the mist circling in and around your head. The mist symbolizes the mental stress
you experience.
· Breathe slowly and deeply.
· As you release the breath slowly through your mouth, allow all the tension to flow out of
your body with that breath.
· Let your shoulders droop and feel your body go limp.
· Take in a deep breath and this time as you exhale see the mist expelled through your
mouth along with all the things that caused you to stress out in the first place.
· Breathe in deeply again, and then expel more of the mist and stress with your next
exhalation.
· Continue deep breathing the mist and stress out until all the stress has left your body.
· Smile. Your body is calm and relaxed. Your mind is refreshed. You can face any situation
with strength and resolve. You are the master of your life.
· Rehearse this exercise daily for a month and then weekly to maintain your skill.
You can use this exercise to confront any situation. Once you can do it through the visualization exercise you will be able to do it on command during even the most stress-filled encounter. Once you have conquered one situation, use this exercise to conquer all hopeless, helpless, stressed-filled situations that confront you.
Running a mile in under 4 minutes was considered impossible. Experts said it was physically impossible and psychologically dangerous. That was until 1957 when Roger Bannister ran a mile in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds. Within forty-six days, John Landy ran a mile in 3 minutes 57.9 seconds. By the end of that year, another sixteen runners ran a mile in under four minutes. How did Bannister achieve the impossible? Why were sixteen other runners able to accomplish the same impossible feat?
Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes because he chose to and believed he could? He managed his state of mind, his physiology, and directed his outcome. By choosing the impossible he proved to the rest of the world that the impossible is possible.
Many people feel that not reacting to their stress-filled environment with anything other than charged emotions, feeling helpless and hopeless and that happiness, health, and a productive, successful life are completely impossible. Are you one of these? Right now you have a choice. How you consciously or unconsciously choose to react to your frenetic, demanding, fast-paced life is completely up to you. You can completely change how you think and feel if you want to.
To help you learn how to respond differently to your present situation I present a technique called, “Imagine a Stress Free Life.” You will use the fundamentals of this very simple yet powerful tool to completely change how you respond to your environment. You may not be able to change your circumstances, but you have the power to change how you react to it. Scientific research and anecdotal evidence prove that the subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a real event and one that is vividly imagined.
Before we start this exercise I want you to think about a stressful event in your life. How does it make you feel? Does your body get tense? Does your mind race with all the potential disastrous outcomes or pain that you experience. On a piece of paper, diary, or notebook write down as much information about the event as possible. You will use this information to help you change your reaction to it through the visualization process which appears below. Please read completely through all directions before attempting the entire routine.
· Find a time when you will be uninterrupted for at least fifteen to thirty minutes.
· Either sit in a chair - back straight, chin in, neck elongated,
hands on legs, feet flat on the floor or lie flat on your back in bed or on a sofa, legs stretched
out and your arms lying at your sides.
· Close your eyes.
· Now imagine the event that you just wrote down. Allow yourself to be completely
overwhelmed by the situation, just as you normally experience while stressed out. Feel the
same feelings. Think the same thoughts.
· Once you are completely reliving the experience take 2-3 Breaths of Life or more until you
once again are calm.
· Now, imagine that you are breathing in a white mist, as much as is comfortable.
· Visualize the mist circling in and around your head. The mist symbolizes the mental stress
you experience.
· Breathe slowly and deeply.
· As you release the breath slowly through your mouth, allow all the tension to flow out of
your body with that breath.
· Let your shoulders droop and feel your body go limp.
· Take in a deep breath and this time as you exhale see the mist expelled through your
mouth along with all the things that caused you to stress out in the first place.
· Breathe in deeply again, and then expel more of the mist and stress with your next
exhalation.
· Continue deep breathing the mist and stress out until all the stress has left your body.
· Smile. Your body is calm and relaxed. Your mind is refreshed. You can face any situation
with strength and resolve. You are the master of your life.
· Rehearse this exercise daily for a month and then weekly to maintain your skill.
You can use this exercise to confront any situation. Once you can do it through the visualization exercise you will be able to do it on command during even the most stress-filled encounter. Once you have conquered one situation, use this exercise to conquer all hopeless, helpless, stressed-filled situations that confront you.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Birth of a Tiger
If you’ve followed my blogs over the last couple of months you know that the theme is getting rid of acute episodes of stress through simple, yet extremely powerful tools, including The Attitude Adjustment Routine, the Breath of Life, and exercise. However, The Peak is more than just surviving stress. It’s about flourishing regardless of the situation so that you can experience the fullness and bounty of Life.
When I was a doctoral student at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro in the Sport Psychology department I was presented with what I was told Sport Scientists considered the most powerful tool available to athletes. Sometime later I realized that this tool not only served athletes, it served anyone who chose to use it. However I didn’t understand the impact that this simple tool could have until a metaphysical experience during a round of golf in Myrtle Beach a short time after my graduation in 1993. As an introduction to this amazing gift available to us all I would like to share that experience with you here. It’s also from the prologue of my book, Kingdom of the Tiger: A Golfer’s Guide to Playing in The Zone. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I did.
Myrtle Beach was unusually warm that December morning. I woke with great anticipation, eagerly waiting to play golf. Besides the pleasant weather, I had played exceptionally well the day before and so was looking forward to playing Tiger’s Eye for the first time. I practiced at the range and putting green before proceeding to the first tee about five minutes before my tee time – where I found four groups waiting to tee off.
My heart sank! It was going to be a l-o-n-g, s-l-o-w day. I hate slow play! I never play well when I have to wait between shots. My tempo, rhythm, and concentration are severely affected. As I waited, I heard the groups ahead also grumble about the delay. Their grumbling grew to a fevered pitch as each golfer hit poor tee shots to start their rounds. Listening to this, my agitation continued to grow; my body became tense. I expected to play poorly.
Not only was the slow play cause for concern, but the extra time between shots also gave me time to think. I don’t normally play well on unfamiliar courses. I struggle with each hole, indecisive about how to play them which leads to more indecision and poor club selection. This indecision affects my attention. My mind wanders to many things having nothing to do with good play.
All the positive energy I felt earlier vanished, replaced with anger and frustration. My body felt tense and weak. My once positive mood had turned sour. My mind was cluttered with negative and extraneous thoughts. It was going to be a lousy day.
Finally the group directly ahead of us teed off and headed down the fairway. Since I would tee off first, I walked to the tee box and teed my ball. I then began pacing back and forth across the tee box. With each pass my eyes glared at the ball and then darted to the golfers in the fairway. Without realizing it I picked out a target in the middle of the fairway where I wanted my ball to land. As I continued pacing, the image of a big cat stalking its prey entered my consciousness. The scene became more vivid. I saw a tiger stalking its prey. After all, this was Tiger’s Eye. I was also born in the Year of the Tiger as per Chinese Astrology and my family and friends referred to me as “Tony the Tiger” growing up because I liked eating Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes so much.
The tiger in my mind was deaf and blind to everything but the animal it hunted. Its eyes never left its prey even though chaos and confusion abounded as a stampeding heard of animals tried to elude what would come next. Instinctively the tiger knew that if it did not maintain visual contact with its prey the hunt would be lost. The tiger was also oblivious to the threat and fear that surround any dangerous activity. You see, hunting can be dangerous, even for the hunter.
My “mental movie” of a hunting tiger continued. As it prepared to strike I could see the tiger’s strong supple body move gracefully, its movements powerful and quick, yet somehow controlled. The time was right. The tiger sprang into action, instinctively responding to every move of the animal it hunted – darting left, right, stopping, starting. No matter what the animal did the tiger moved in unison. It was more like a dance of the wild.
It was my turn to tee off. My predator instincts took over. I now saw myself as that tiger. I stood behind the ball, my eyes glued to my distant target – my prey. The rest of the golf course with its many hazards disappeared. As I moved into address, my body felt strong and agile, yet somehow relaxed. My mind’s eye was focused on the distant target even though my eyes remain fixed on the ball. My swing was powerful, swift not hard, controlled yet effortless. My actions were instinctive. An unconscious force guided the club through the ball, launching it toward my target.
Success!!! The ball flew straight and long, landing in the middle of the fairway right where I intended. Exhilarated, I forgot about the anger of having to wait, the frustration of slow play, the indecision created by playing a new course for the first time. I now had a goal, a single-mindedness to attack the golf course using the same predator-like ritual on each and every shot. While I desperately wanted to play well, score became unimportant. I was not threatened by poor play or distracted by things that normally challenge my performance. I wanted to see what would happen if I were to play golf the way a tiger hunts. My confidence soared as each shot found its target, making it easier and easier to sink deep into the role of the tiger. I was the tiger! It turned out to be one of the best rounds in my life.
That day “The Power of the Tiger” was born in me. Finally I learned what it was like to play in The Zone. The Zone is just a term used for being in the moment and focused on the task at hand so that there is nothing else but now. The account you just read was real: it was a life-transforming event. Even though I had been trained in visualization/imagery techniques and had used them extensively in my work, that experience helped me fully understand the incredible power of these simple natural techniques. I literally saw, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted the experience.
Could you taste the salty Myrtle Beach air and feel its warmth? Could you hear the golfers grumble ahead of me about the unexpected delay and their poor tee shots? Could you feel my frustration, disappointment, confusion, and anger as I suddenly came upon four groups of golfers still waiting to tee off? Could you sense how I took on the focus of a tiger just before it sprang into action? Could you feel my exhilaration when I successfully hit my tee shot down the middle of the fairway? Could you smell the prey as the tiger closed in for the attack? If so, you are well on your way to harnessing what many would consider the most powerful psychological tool available to humankind.
You can use your imagination to get out of stress. You can use it to realize all of your goals and dreams. You can use it to put you in touch with a world unseen by our physical eyes and connect you with the source of all that is. You can use it for anything you want.
When I was a doctoral student at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro in the Sport Psychology department I was presented with what I was told Sport Scientists considered the most powerful tool available to athletes. Sometime later I realized that this tool not only served athletes, it served anyone who chose to use it. However I didn’t understand the impact that this simple tool could have until a metaphysical experience during a round of golf in Myrtle Beach a short time after my graduation in 1993. As an introduction to this amazing gift available to us all I would like to share that experience with you here. It’s also from the prologue of my book, Kingdom of the Tiger: A Golfer’s Guide to Playing in The Zone. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I did.
Myrtle Beach was unusually warm that December morning. I woke with great anticipation, eagerly waiting to play golf. Besides the pleasant weather, I had played exceptionally well the day before and so was looking forward to playing Tiger’s Eye for the first time. I practiced at the range and putting green before proceeding to the first tee about five minutes before my tee time – where I found four groups waiting to tee off.
My heart sank! It was going to be a l-o-n-g, s-l-o-w day. I hate slow play! I never play well when I have to wait between shots. My tempo, rhythm, and concentration are severely affected. As I waited, I heard the groups ahead also grumble about the delay. Their grumbling grew to a fevered pitch as each golfer hit poor tee shots to start their rounds. Listening to this, my agitation continued to grow; my body became tense. I expected to play poorly.
Not only was the slow play cause for concern, but the extra time between shots also gave me time to think. I don’t normally play well on unfamiliar courses. I struggle with each hole, indecisive about how to play them which leads to more indecision and poor club selection. This indecision affects my attention. My mind wanders to many things having nothing to do with good play.
All the positive energy I felt earlier vanished, replaced with anger and frustration. My body felt tense and weak. My once positive mood had turned sour. My mind was cluttered with negative and extraneous thoughts. It was going to be a lousy day.
Finally the group directly ahead of us teed off and headed down the fairway. Since I would tee off first, I walked to the tee box and teed my ball. I then began pacing back and forth across the tee box. With each pass my eyes glared at the ball and then darted to the golfers in the fairway. Without realizing it I picked out a target in the middle of the fairway where I wanted my ball to land. As I continued pacing, the image of a big cat stalking its prey entered my consciousness. The scene became more vivid. I saw a tiger stalking its prey. After all, this was Tiger’s Eye. I was also born in the Year of the Tiger as per Chinese Astrology and my family and friends referred to me as “Tony the Tiger” growing up because I liked eating Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes so much.
The tiger in my mind was deaf and blind to everything but the animal it hunted. Its eyes never left its prey even though chaos and confusion abounded as a stampeding heard of animals tried to elude what would come next. Instinctively the tiger knew that if it did not maintain visual contact with its prey the hunt would be lost. The tiger was also oblivious to the threat and fear that surround any dangerous activity. You see, hunting can be dangerous, even for the hunter.
My “mental movie” of a hunting tiger continued. As it prepared to strike I could see the tiger’s strong supple body move gracefully, its movements powerful and quick, yet somehow controlled. The time was right. The tiger sprang into action, instinctively responding to every move of the animal it hunted – darting left, right, stopping, starting. No matter what the animal did the tiger moved in unison. It was more like a dance of the wild.
It was my turn to tee off. My predator instincts took over. I now saw myself as that tiger. I stood behind the ball, my eyes glued to my distant target – my prey. The rest of the golf course with its many hazards disappeared. As I moved into address, my body felt strong and agile, yet somehow relaxed. My mind’s eye was focused on the distant target even though my eyes remain fixed on the ball. My swing was powerful, swift not hard, controlled yet effortless. My actions were instinctive. An unconscious force guided the club through the ball, launching it toward my target.
Success!!! The ball flew straight and long, landing in the middle of the fairway right where I intended. Exhilarated, I forgot about the anger of having to wait, the frustration of slow play, the indecision created by playing a new course for the first time. I now had a goal, a single-mindedness to attack the golf course using the same predator-like ritual on each and every shot. While I desperately wanted to play well, score became unimportant. I was not threatened by poor play or distracted by things that normally challenge my performance. I wanted to see what would happen if I were to play golf the way a tiger hunts. My confidence soared as each shot found its target, making it easier and easier to sink deep into the role of the tiger. I was the tiger! It turned out to be one of the best rounds in my life.
That day “The Power of the Tiger” was born in me. Finally I learned what it was like to play in The Zone. The Zone is just a term used for being in the moment and focused on the task at hand so that there is nothing else but now. The account you just read was real: it was a life-transforming event. Even though I had been trained in visualization/imagery techniques and had used them extensively in my work, that experience helped me fully understand the incredible power of these simple natural techniques. I literally saw, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted the experience.
Could you taste the salty Myrtle Beach air and feel its warmth? Could you hear the golfers grumble ahead of me about the unexpected delay and their poor tee shots? Could you feel my frustration, disappointment, confusion, and anger as I suddenly came upon four groups of golfers still waiting to tee off? Could you sense how I took on the focus of a tiger just before it sprang into action? Could you feel my exhilaration when I successfully hit my tee shot down the middle of the fairway? Could you smell the prey as the tiger closed in for the attack? If so, you are well on your way to harnessing what many would consider the most powerful psychological tool available to humankind.
You can use your imagination to get out of stress. You can use it to realize all of your goals and dreams. You can use it to put you in touch with a world unseen by our physical eyes and connect you with the source of all that is. You can use it for anything you want.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My (Part 2)
While the human intellect has managed to keep pace with the ever-advancing faster paced world with its increasingly sophisticated scientific and technological improvements, our nervous systems have been much slower to change. Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to disregard and disparage our primitive ancestry and have become separate from our natural, more instinctive healing processes, but we still need access to those primitive processing centers to eliminate traumatic energy trapped inside our bodies.
The neocortex, also referred to as the human or rational mind, does not have direct access to the outside world, but interprets information received from other parts of the brain through images, language, and ideas. Because information processed in the neocortex is based on past beliefs, expectations, and attitudes, its conclusions about the meaning of present events tend to be relatively inaccurate. For example, just because you failed in the past doesn’t mean that you will fail this time. But sometimes our rational mind can’t draw that conclusion and proceeds as if failure were certain.
The brain also consists of two other processing centers, the limbic brain (Mammalian Brain), which processes emotional and social behaviors and the reptilian brain, also known as the instinctual brain. It has direct access to the outside world through the five senses. The reptilian brain processes vast amounts of information directly related to survival. Instinctively, the reptilian brain knows what is necessary for survival and is built on rhythms of charge and discharge. All mammals, including humans, snap into the reptilian brain mode of behaviors when they perceive a threat. It doesn’t make any difference whether the threat is to life or limb or related to the need to protect the ego. The reptilian brain discharges traumatic energy from the body.
Trauma resolution in healthy humans relies on instinct, emotions, and intellect working together to create the widest range of choices possible in any given situation. People more aligned with their natural systems tend to resolve trauma more easily. Being in touch with these natural processes allows them to discharge energy and restore health. Those who cannot discharge traumatic energy trapped inside their bodies freeze. They remain traumatized and engage in dysfunctional behaviors that do nothing to solve their problems because the only solution available to them is to protect the ego. People’s level of intelligence doesn’t matter; highly intelligent individuals are just as susceptible to physical and emotional trauma as those less intellectually talented, if the need to protect their ego outweighs all other choices.
Most coaches, counselors, and therapists work only with the conscious mind and make connections with the emotional-processing part of the brain, helping their clients think their way through their problems. Using such techniques as Reality Therapy and Cognitive Reconstruction, individuals experience relief from their problems by learning to look at their problems with new “eyes”. These approaches are also used to help people overcome irrational beliefs, fears, and expectations that impede performance in a variety of intellectual and physical venues.
Many times, uncovering cognitive blocks helps people perform all daily life tasks better. But what happens when we get stuck or “freeze” and these approaches don’t work? Does it mean that the problem is unsolvable or that we don’t possess the physical or intellectual attributes necessary for success, at least in that situation? No, what it means is that energy blocks in your body must be released.
Without the inclusion of bodily sensations and uncensored memories disconnects occur between the brain and the body making problems appear unsolvable, giving the illusion that one doesn’t possess the physical or intellectual talent necessary for success. That is when most people get stuck or “freeze.” In working with clients, I check for physical sensations, emotional feelings, thoughts, and memories triggered in difficult situations.
Many people are able to adequately describe the emotions, thoughts, triggered memories, and physical sensations they’ve experienced in past adverse or stressful situations. Some are not. If you are one of the latter, consider that physical sensations usually show up as tension, pain, stiffness, jitteriness, a racing heart, headaches, or labored breathing. Are there situations in which you feel helpless or hopeless? Do you get angry, frustrated, or sad when you feel like this? Do you remember times when nothing you did worked? If so, it’s a good bet that you have energy from these past situations trapped inside your body. If so, refer to “Lions and Tigers and bear, Oh My (Part 1) for suggestions to help remove these energies so you can begin anew, as if the past trauma never occurred. Here’s a list of therapies that help rid your body of unwanted energies.
1. Massage
2. Chiropractic
3. Reflexology
4. Reiki
5. Ascension Reiki
6. Sound Therapy
7. Osteopathy
8. Acupressure
9. Acupuncture
10. Relaxation Therapy
If you know of others, please let me know. Also, if you experienced PTSD or unresolved stress for an extended period of time one session isn’t sufficient. Weekly or monthly sessions over an extended period of time will have the energy in your body running freely and smoothly and you will not even know that your life is filled with stress.
The neocortex, also referred to as the human or rational mind, does not have direct access to the outside world, but interprets information received from other parts of the brain through images, language, and ideas. Because information processed in the neocortex is based on past beliefs, expectations, and attitudes, its conclusions about the meaning of present events tend to be relatively inaccurate. For example, just because you failed in the past doesn’t mean that you will fail this time. But sometimes our rational mind can’t draw that conclusion and proceeds as if failure were certain.
The brain also consists of two other processing centers, the limbic brain (Mammalian Brain), which processes emotional and social behaviors and the reptilian brain, also known as the instinctual brain. It has direct access to the outside world through the five senses. The reptilian brain processes vast amounts of information directly related to survival. Instinctively, the reptilian brain knows what is necessary for survival and is built on rhythms of charge and discharge. All mammals, including humans, snap into the reptilian brain mode of behaviors when they perceive a threat. It doesn’t make any difference whether the threat is to life or limb or related to the need to protect the ego. The reptilian brain discharges traumatic energy from the body.
Trauma resolution in healthy humans relies on instinct, emotions, and intellect working together to create the widest range of choices possible in any given situation. People more aligned with their natural systems tend to resolve trauma more easily. Being in touch with these natural processes allows them to discharge energy and restore health. Those who cannot discharge traumatic energy trapped inside their bodies freeze. They remain traumatized and engage in dysfunctional behaviors that do nothing to solve their problems because the only solution available to them is to protect the ego. People’s level of intelligence doesn’t matter; highly intelligent individuals are just as susceptible to physical and emotional trauma as those less intellectually talented, if the need to protect their ego outweighs all other choices.
Most coaches, counselors, and therapists work only with the conscious mind and make connections with the emotional-processing part of the brain, helping their clients think their way through their problems. Using such techniques as Reality Therapy and Cognitive Reconstruction, individuals experience relief from their problems by learning to look at their problems with new “eyes”. These approaches are also used to help people overcome irrational beliefs, fears, and expectations that impede performance in a variety of intellectual and physical venues.
Many times, uncovering cognitive blocks helps people perform all daily life tasks better. But what happens when we get stuck or “freeze” and these approaches don’t work? Does it mean that the problem is unsolvable or that we don’t possess the physical or intellectual attributes necessary for success, at least in that situation? No, what it means is that energy blocks in your body must be released.
Without the inclusion of bodily sensations and uncensored memories disconnects occur between the brain and the body making problems appear unsolvable, giving the illusion that one doesn’t possess the physical or intellectual talent necessary for success. That is when most people get stuck or “freeze.” In working with clients, I check for physical sensations, emotional feelings, thoughts, and memories triggered in difficult situations.
Many people are able to adequately describe the emotions, thoughts, triggered memories, and physical sensations they’ve experienced in past adverse or stressful situations. Some are not. If you are one of the latter, consider that physical sensations usually show up as tension, pain, stiffness, jitteriness, a racing heart, headaches, or labored breathing. Are there situations in which you feel helpless or hopeless? Do you get angry, frustrated, or sad when you feel like this? Do you remember times when nothing you did worked? If so, it’s a good bet that you have energy from these past situations trapped inside your body. If so, refer to “Lions and Tigers and bear, Oh My (Part 1) for suggestions to help remove these energies so you can begin anew, as if the past trauma never occurred. Here’s a list of therapies that help rid your body of unwanted energies.
1. Massage
2. Chiropractic
3. Reflexology
4. Reiki
5. Ascension Reiki
6. Sound Therapy
7. Osteopathy
8. Acupressure
9. Acupuncture
10. Relaxation Therapy
If you know of others, please let me know. Also, if you experienced PTSD or unresolved stress for an extended period of time one session isn’t sufficient. Weekly or monthly sessions over an extended period of time will have the energy in your body running freely and smoothly and you will not even know that your life is filled with stress.
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